New Start with a New Blog

Yah - I've moved/renamed/renovated my blog.  I like this new format and look better, find it easier.  And, I feel like with the advent of a blog series, this is a good time make the switch.  While we're talking about moving, if anyone knows how to easily move my stuff from here to wordpress, I'd appreciate the help.

So, hope on over and check it out: Beautiful Broken

I'll post the first in the Israel series later this afternoon.

The Rules Have Changed

‘As we consider all the options we are trying to change our language from "is that possible?" (because of course with God it is!!!) to "what is the next step God wants us to take?"’

A friend said this to me in an email the other day.  For her, this comes from the context of walking with the Lord in a monumental change in geography that will affect her entire family.  While we’re talking about that, let me take this opportunity to say how much I admire she and her husband for the voracity with which they are pursuing this next step in the Lord’s design for them.  It is both encouraging and inspiring.  I want to be like them when I grow up - which begs the question, at what point to I stop looking ahead to being grown up and just exist there?

I digress.

As I celebrated the good news in other parts of the email and thanked the Lord for putting these people in my path, I kept coming back to this statement; wondering what that would look like fleshed out as reality in my own life.

It caught me off guard a couple hours later that this sentiment, this very statement really, is exactly where I’ve been living since Israel.  She said, in a far more eloquent way, what I could only express as, “I’m ready to trust God for big things” - which is admirable, but vague.

In contemplating these things, I came to another conclusion.  I’ve been living my life according to a certain set of rules.  My family loves to play the game Mexican Train, and we particularly love it when someone is visiting and we can play with new people.  The problem is, sometimes they have played Mexican Train for years...but they play by a different set of rules.  I’ve been living my life according to a rule book written by this world.

The reality is, my rule book is the watered down, adventure-less version.  I’ve discovered a rule book written by a God who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond anything I can imagine.  Do you know how much more fun and free that is?

According to this new (well, new to me) rule book, I don’t have to wait and work for another year until my debt is paid off...I can ask and trust God to pay it now.

I don’t have to wonder and plan for the day that I won’t be able to walk anymore - which, according to the chiropractor, is a mere decade away.  I can ask and trust God to heal my inoperable spinal birth defect.

This new rule book lets a girl who lives paycheck to paycheck give away a year’s worth of savings that had been set aside for a dream journey...only to have it returned four days before her planed departure date - and then grants her the joy of watching that story transform lives, her own and others.

It lets that same girl travel again, just five months later on yet another epic expedition.

I should give fair warning: I’ve changed rule books - traded in the old, boring empty one for one filled with life, adventure and wonder.  I like this new, higher one better.  It’s certainly more fun.  It lets me hope and dream instead of work and wait.  It lets me be who I am instead of who people want me to be.

It lets me tell my best friend that she is the man at the pool of Bethesda and doesn’t really want to be healed, because I now know she’ll love me anyway.  And, let’s be honest, I didn’t really care if she’d love me anyway.  These new rules let me love her enough to want her whole, regardless of what it cost me.

The good news is that she does love me anyway.  The Good News is how remarkably easy its been to make this change.  In fact, the change over happened without me even realizing it.  A revolution begins in a moment.

I’m in a process of changing my language - much like my friend said, ‘ from "is that possible?"...to "what is the next step God wants us to take?"’  But also from, “I CAN’T move overseas until next year” to “God, pay off my debt so I can go sooner.”  And from “the doctor says I won’t be able to walk when I’m 40” to “the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to walk by the time I was 40...but my God is bigger than a prognosis.”

That’s where I am right now with trusting God for big things.  I’m there, but I’m also in a land of looking for more big things to trust God for, like hope and peace in Palestine, like healing and wholeness in the lives of my friends, like really, actually living and sustaining myself on my art.  Trusting God to make dreams a reality.

For now, that’s what I have to say about what my trip to Israel did to me.  There are many, many more stories of things the Lord did there, things we saw and experienced - and they are coming.  I’m writing those now in the hopes of starting a weekly blog series just about the trip.  But, this is where my heart is now, after the trip.  So, if I seem a little wide-eyed, crazy and excited...it’s because I am.  I want to see God do big things; and the reality is, He is doing them every day.  We just need to ask Him for the eyes to see them, and then play by the rule book that allows them to be a reality.

Blog Plans

Is it possible to go from a hardly-ever blogger to a hyperactive one in the span of about 3 days?

I think I've done just that.

I have three "series" in my head that I'd like to work on.  I want to share about my trip to Jordan from this past April, my trip to Israel next month, and this other thing.  I love words.  I love to read and write...even if I don't do enough of either.  And I am absolutely fascinated by song lyrics, particularly worship songs and hymns.  So often we learn the words to a song and just sing them without giving thought to what we're singing, proclaiming or promising.  I would really like to write a book exploring common songs and hymns and what those things really mean.  Since I don't really know how to go about writing a book, I think I'll begin here with essays about such things.

I'm thinking I'll come up with a schedule...like, a day for each series and post to each series once a week.  Gosh, that's ambitious...that's three posts a week.

Thus, my opening statement.

We shall see.

Confessions of a Terrible Blogger

I am a terrible blogger.

There.  I've said it.  Admitted it.

That's the first step to healing and change, right?  Admission?

So, I hardly ever blog...mostly because I don't think anyone really cares to read what I have to say...although, my friend Amy has disputed that on numerous occasions.

It seems that, as of late (and, by "of late" I mean my most recent few posts, not an actual time frame), I have had quite a lot to say.  The posts have been long.  See, the simple fact is, I have a lot in my brain.  Not really a lot of useful information most of the time, but a lot of thoughts at least.  And, I do like to write.  And, I do, desperately want to be intentional about writing more.

So, here I am, in public committing to blog more.  (Question: If you make a commitment in public and no one is there to hear it, is it a real commitment?)  Really, my hope in blogging the things I'm thinking these days is to spur discussion.  Outside of the Bible and what it clearly defines, there isn't a whole lot that I am dogmatic about...at least, I don't think there is...I guess we'll find out should this here blog actually spur discussion.  I love debate and discussion - within the boundaries of respect and honor - and I have some people in my life these days who exhort me to greater depths of thought on the things of the Lord...and I couldn't be more grateful for them.

The other main impetus in my new drive to blog more is my upcoming trip to Israel.

I am a journal-er when I travel...not so much when I'm at home.  I will write like mad while I'm gone...and plan to turn at least some of those pages into blog posts.  I'll even post some in the next 3 weeks or so until I leave.

On the same topic as this trip to Israel, about five months ago, I had an amazing opportunity to spend two weeks in Jordan.  I learned so much in the weeks leading up to that trip that I was afraid I'd need a couple weeks to recover before experiencing all that God had for me on the actual trip.  Really, amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.  BUT, I journaled all of that as well and will be working on making some of that story blog-able as well.  So many people walked that journey with me, or just heard bits and pieces of it in the last few days.  It is a ridiculous story of God's provision that left me completely unable to ever again wonder if God loves me.  Clearly, He does.

So, here is my new commitment to being a better blogger...Amy, hold me accountable.  :)

Some Thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't claim to know a whole lot about much of anything.  Particularly politics.  Or, really, religion.  I don't claim to be well-read.  (I wish I was, but I'm not.)  What I do know, however, is that Jesus calls us (His body, His church, His followers) to love...to love without limits...to love without consideration for political or religious affiliation.  To forgive.  To turn the other cheek.  And, perhaps the most difficult of all, to NOT defend ourselves with words, but to let the way we live our lives be our defense.

Now, with all of that disclaimed (is that a word?  See?  Not well-read.), just a few thoughts on this whole discussion of building a mosque/Islamic cultural center "at" Ground Zero.

A: The proposed site of the mosque is not AT Ground Zero...or on the grounds of the former World Trade Center.  It's down the street.  They are not asking to build a worship center on top of the hallowed graves of our fallen heroes, of the ordinary, every day American who went to work one morning and didn't come home that night.  It's down the street.*

B: We (Christians) are outraged when rumors fly about people not being legally allowed to have church meetings in their homes.  We go crazy with email chain letters and petitions.  We champion freedom of religion and separation of church and state when we feel threatened.  We need to remember, this was land was NOT colonized and this country was NOT founded to be a Christian nation, but one of religious freedom.  The first men and women who landed here fled the forced church allegiance and religious persecution of England to find a place where they had the right and freedom to choose what they believed and how they worshipped.  It is rather bigoted of us to claim these rights only for ourselves; to say that we are only free to worship when/where/how we choose IF we are "Christian."  This is a country of equality (do I really need to quote the Declaration?).

C: All of the above said, I do agree that it is in poor taste to build a mosque - particularly such a large one - in such close proximity to Ground Zero.  Poor taste, not unconstitutional.  Quite frankly, if they own the land and hold the right permits, I don't think there is a legal leg to stand on to stop the construction.

D:  Moving on to our response as Christians.  We have only one option: Love.  Really, think back to a time before you were a Christian.  If someone came to you in the name of the their god, ridiculed you for what you believed, shouted about how evil you were simply for what you believed...how willing would you be to listen to what they believed?  Why is that our first course of action when Jesus simply loved?  Across the board, He loved.

When Jesus met the woman at the well He knew her culture, He knew her story...and by knowing these, He knew her need.  And He answered her need...her specific need, with Himself.  My question to you is this: when we meet someone on the street, how can we possibly know her need if all we do is shout about who she is without Christ?  None of us, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu...none of us are any better than she is simply because she is Muslim.  I am no more worthy of Jesus because I was born in America than she is because she was born in an Arab country**.  God doesn't make mistakes.  He doesn't view her as a lost cause for the Gospel because she was born to an Arab family.  We'd be wise to remember that it was the zealots who yelled the loudest in the New Testament, not the One who was right.  The One simply invested in lives.

We simply cannot change the religious or political climate in this country by kicking, screaming and attacking the government.  Change happens in the roots.  We need to learn to love; to teach our children to love.  Love is every bit as passionate as anger and can spread with the same epidemic force.  We live in a culture (or, at least, I do) where loving our neighbor quite literally means loving the nations.  We don't have to go overseas anymore to encounter someone with a vastly different religious and cultural outlook.  She is right down the street, maybe even literally, next door.  Love her enough to know her story, know where she comes from, know her need.  And meet that need with Jesus.  We are His hands and feet, we can very practically show her who He is and how He loves.

No, I don't know a whole lot about politics, but I know Jesus...and He is a whole lot bigger than America's political system.  I know His voice, and what His prodding feels like.  I just wonder, if Elijah heard God's still small voice in a gentle wind, why do we feel like we need to be loud on God's behalf?



*Just for the record, given the metropolitan nature of NYC and the sheer number of people who died, there is no doubt in my mind that there were ordinary, every day American MUSLIMS who had nothing to do with the group responsible for 9/11 who were killed as well.  They were American.
**From my very limited research, it appears that only 15% of the world's Muslims are Arab - however, we tend to assume the two are synonymous.

Our beloved Father

Please come down and meet us

We are waiting on Your touch

Open up the heavens

Shower down Your presence

We respond to Your great love

We won’t be satisfied

With anything ordinary

We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky

Fall down the like rain

We don’t want blessings

We want You

Fall down like fire

We don’t want anything but You

Our beloved Jesus

We just want to see You

In the glory of Your light

Earthly things don’t matter

They just fade and shatter

When we’re touched by Love Divine

Here we go, let’s go to the Throne

The place that we belong

Right into His arms

I first heard this song in February of 2009. Right away, from the first chorus, it rang true with my heart. I was in the midst of a difficult, dark season. The Lord had stripped from me some things, activities, positions that I had thought were essential to my very being. As in every move He makes, He was very right and I was very wrong. He took those things from me in order to force me - it was a tender and loving force, but it was, most certainly, forceable - to force me to find my identity in Him rather than the things I did.

Ouch.

“We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary, we won’t be satisfied at all.”

The very first time I read those lyrics I understood why I was willingly walking through that time with the Lord, instead of pushing through life as it had been. I don’t want life. I want LIFE - life abundant, life adventurous, life loud and life joyful. And, even if I didn’t understand what was going on at the time, I trusted the God who promised me these things.

That said, the Lord blessed my struggling, bumbling faithfulness to follow and let go of the things I loved - the things I had previously thought identified me - and returned them in ways I can’t even express. God is good, my friends, He is good.

As 2009 came to a close, I knew deep down that 2010 was going to be a big year for me and the Lord. Bigger even, if it was possible, than the early months of 2009. This fact was clear to me in the part of my heart that I now know is where the Lord speaks to me, then it was just a settled truth in my spirit. And I knew it with more resolution every time I sang this song.

Now, for as much as I knew that things were going to change in 2010, that the Lord would be new and real to me, I could never have expected it to happen so quickly or so profoundly. It’s only March, and the beginning of March at that. But, already, I know that my relationship with the Lord will never be what it was - there’s no going back.

You see, this year I have embarked on a journey of prayer that I merely flirted with last summer - a journey of prayer, communion and community with the Lord that can’t be adequately explained without personal experience.

Listening prayer is just that - asking the Lord and...are you ready for this? - actually listening for the answer.

Whoa.

Earth-shattering, I know.

God speaks, my friends. He does. He speaks to us each in different ways. For me, it’s in pictures. I see things - I hesitate to call them visions, but pictures. Even if the Lord is just giving me a word, which He often does for me, I see it in some sort of calligraphy. And, I love it.

I love how so often, when I inquire of the Lord, He so very quickly answers me...almost as if He’s actually eager to talk to me. Oh, but wait, He is! (Proverbs 1:23) Why - why!? - was I never taught this before? Most times, He is answering before I can even get the question out. It both calms and excites my heart to know that He is waiting...no...longing for me to be quiet and still enough for Him to answer.

Listening prayer is every bit as simple as it is complex. There is beauty in the expression and peace in the revelation. God is good - He loves - and He gives what we need and what we can handle in the moment and never yet have I discovered something I had expected.

Freedom. Power. Beauty. Art. Boldness. Truth. All things I’ve found in listening prayer. Not things I’ve received or been given. I already had them. And, the Lord has so graciously and gently shown me that they were already there, I just needed to access them, live in them, walk in them. All of these have changed the way I think, the way I speak and, most amazingly, the way I pray.

“Here we go, let’s go to the throne, the place where we belong, right into His arms.”

Prayer now, for me, isn’t just an act of attempting to defy gravity. I’m not tossing my concerns up to the sky and hoping they break through the atmosphere and make it to the ear of the Lord. No. Now, I walk into the throne room of the King of Kings, crawl in His lap and have a chat with my Dad. Because I’ve heard Him answer, I know that He cares for the concerns of my heart. He wants to hear, and He longs to answer.

.”Our beloved Jesus, we just want to see You, in the glory of Your light.”

I heard this song today for the first time in a while. It has become my anthem for 2010, and I do think of it often, but I hadn’t listened to it in it’s entirety for a few weeks. It serves as such a sweet reminder of where I was a year ago and where the Lord has brought me since. I’ve learned obedience and patience. I’ve learned to sit and to listen. To really listen. To listen to what He says to me and about me - not just to what I want to hear or think He says.

In learning to sit and to listen I’ve learned that He loves ME. That He loves me for me - for who I am and who He created me to be. I’ve learned that, if I am willing to sit and listen and act on what I hear, that I will become more of who He created me to be than I ever have been - or ever will be by fighting and pushing on my own.

This lesson of listening and knowing and curling up in His lap, this will go with me forever. This isn’t one of those lessons that I learn and remember for a while and then need to be reminded of again and again. No, this one is resolute. The more I hear from Him, the more I long to hear from Him. The more I hear His voice, the more excited I am for the next time I can sit and listen.

He speaks, my friends. He speaks. Just listen. You’ll be blown away. And, I assure you, you won’t find anything ordinary.

It's Been a While, But...

Yes, it's been, like, 6 months since I've blogged...hey, I've been busy...cut me some slack! :)

For all 2 people who actually look at my blog, this might make up for my extended absence:

http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html

Go there. And then, enter to win a TOUCH SCREEN COMPUTER.

On second thought, just go there...don't actually enter...that'll reduce my chances to win. Although, since only 2 people read this, I don't know that 2 more entries will hurt my chances THAT much.

:)