New Start with a New Blog

Yah - I've moved/renamed/renovated my blog.  I like this new format and look better, find it easier.  And, I feel like with the advent of a blog series, this is a good time make the switch.  While we're talking about moving, if anyone knows how to easily move my stuff from here to wordpress, I'd appreciate the help.

So, hope on over and check it out: Beautiful Broken

I'll post the first in the Israel series later this afternoon.

The Rules Have Changed

‘As we consider all the options we are trying to change our language from "is that possible?" (because of course with God it is!!!) to "what is the next step God wants us to take?"’

A friend said this to me in an email the other day.  For her, this comes from the context of walking with the Lord in a monumental change in geography that will affect her entire family.  While we’re talking about that, let me take this opportunity to say how much I admire she and her husband for the voracity with which they are pursuing this next step in the Lord’s design for them.  It is both encouraging and inspiring.  I want to be like them when I grow up - which begs the question, at what point to I stop looking ahead to being grown up and just exist there?

I digress.

As I celebrated the good news in other parts of the email and thanked the Lord for putting these people in my path, I kept coming back to this statement; wondering what that would look like fleshed out as reality in my own life.

It caught me off guard a couple hours later that this sentiment, this very statement really, is exactly where I’ve been living since Israel.  She said, in a far more eloquent way, what I could only express as, “I’m ready to trust God for big things” - which is admirable, but vague.

In contemplating these things, I came to another conclusion.  I’ve been living my life according to a certain set of rules.  My family loves to play the game Mexican Train, and we particularly love it when someone is visiting and we can play with new people.  The problem is, sometimes they have played Mexican Train for years...but they play by a different set of rules.  I’ve been living my life according to a rule book written by this world.

The reality is, my rule book is the watered down, adventure-less version.  I’ve discovered a rule book written by a God who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond anything I can imagine.  Do you know how much more fun and free that is?

According to this new (well, new to me) rule book, I don’t have to wait and work for another year until my debt is paid off...I can ask and trust God to pay it now.

I don’t have to wonder and plan for the day that I won’t be able to walk anymore - which, according to the chiropractor, is a mere decade away.  I can ask and trust God to heal my inoperable spinal birth defect.

This new rule book lets a girl who lives paycheck to paycheck give away a year’s worth of savings that had been set aside for a dream journey...only to have it returned four days before her planed departure date - and then grants her the joy of watching that story transform lives, her own and others.

It lets that same girl travel again, just five months later on yet another epic expedition.

I should give fair warning: I’ve changed rule books - traded in the old, boring empty one for one filled with life, adventure and wonder.  I like this new, higher one better.  It’s certainly more fun.  It lets me hope and dream instead of work and wait.  It lets me be who I am instead of who people want me to be.

It lets me tell my best friend that she is the man at the pool of Bethesda and doesn’t really want to be healed, because I now know she’ll love me anyway.  And, let’s be honest, I didn’t really care if she’d love me anyway.  These new rules let me love her enough to want her whole, regardless of what it cost me.

The good news is that she does love me anyway.  The Good News is how remarkably easy its been to make this change.  In fact, the change over happened without me even realizing it.  A revolution begins in a moment.

I’m in a process of changing my language - much like my friend said, ‘ from "is that possible?"...to "what is the next step God wants us to take?"’  But also from, “I CAN’T move overseas until next year” to “God, pay off my debt so I can go sooner.”  And from “the doctor says I won’t be able to walk when I’m 40” to “the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to walk by the time I was 40...but my God is bigger than a prognosis.”

That’s where I am right now with trusting God for big things.  I’m there, but I’m also in a land of looking for more big things to trust God for, like hope and peace in Palestine, like healing and wholeness in the lives of my friends, like really, actually living and sustaining myself on my art.  Trusting God to make dreams a reality.

For now, that’s what I have to say about what my trip to Israel did to me.  There are many, many more stories of things the Lord did there, things we saw and experienced - and they are coming.  I’m writing those now in the hopes of starting a weekly blog series just about the trip.  But, this is where my heart is now, after the trip.  So, if I seem a little wide-eyed, crazy and excited...it’s because I am.  I want to see God do big things; and the reality is, He is doing them every day.  We just need to ask Him for the eyes to see them, and then play by the rule book that allows them to be a reality.

Blog Plans

Is it possible to go from a hardly-ever blogger to a hyperactive one in the span of about 3 days?

I think I've done just that.

I have three "series" in my head that I'd like to work on.  I want to share about my trip to Jordan from this past April, my trip to Israel next month, and this other thing.  I love words.  I love to read and write...even if I don't do enough of either.  And I am absolutely fascinated by song lyrics, particularly worship songs and hymns.  So often we learn the words to a song and just sing them without giving thought to what we're singing, proclaiming or promising.  I would really like to write a book exploring common songs and hymns and what those things really mean.  Since I don't really know how to go about writing a book, I think I'll begin here with essays about such things.

I'm thinking I'll come up with a schedule...like, a day for each series and post to each series once a week.  Gosh, that's ambitious...that's three posts a week.

Thus, my opening statement.

We shall see.

Confessions of a Terrible Blogger

I am a terrible blogger.

There.  I've said it.  Admitted it.

That's the first step to healing and change, right?  Admission?

So, I hardly ever blog...mostly because I don't think anyone really cares to read what I have to say...although, my friend Amy has disputed that on numerous occasions.

It seems that, as of late (and, by "of late" I mean my most recent few posts, not an actual time frame), I have had quite a lot to say.  The posts have been long.  See, the simple fact is, I have a lot in my brain.  Not really a lot of useful information most of the time, but a lot of thoughts at least.  And, I do like to write.  And, I do, desperately want to be intentional about writing more.

So, here I am, in public committing to blog more.  (Question: If you make a commitment in public and no one is there to hear it, is it a real commitment?)  Really, my hope in blogging the things I'm thinking these days is to spur discussion.  Outside of the Bible and what it clearly defines, there isn't a whole lot that I am dogmatic about...at least, I don't think there is...I guess we'll find out should this here blog actually spur discussion.  I love debate and discussion - within the boundaries of respect and honor - and I have some people in my life these days who exhort me to greater depths of thought on the things of the Lord...and I couldn't be more grateful for them.

The other main impetus in my new drive to blog more is my upcoming trip to Israel.

I am a journal-er when I travel...not so much when I'm at home.  I will write like mad while I'm gone...and plan to turn at least some of those pages into blog posts.  I'll even post some in the next 3 weeks or so until I leave.

On the same topic as this trip to Israel, about five months ago, I had an amazing opportunity to spend two weeks in Jordan.  I learned so much in the weeks leading up to that trip that I was afraid I'd need a couple weeks to recover before experiencing all that God had for me on the actual trip.  Really, amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.  BUT, I journaled all of that as well and will be working on making some of that story blog-able as well.  So many people walked that journey with me, or just heard bits and pieces of it in the last few days.  It is a ridiculous story of God's provision that left me completely unable to ever again wonder if God loves me.  Clearly, He does.

So, here is my new commitment to being a better blogger...Amy, hold me accountable.  :)

Some Thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't claim to know a whole lot about much of anything.  Particularly politics.  Or, really, religion.  I don't claim to be well-read.  (I wish I was, but I'm not.)  What I do know, however, is that Jesus calls us (His body, His church, His followers) to love...to love without limits...to love without consideration for political or religious affiliation.  To forgive.  To turn the other cheek.  And, perhaps the most difficult of all, to NOT defend ourselves with words, but to let the way we live our lives be our defense.

Now, with all of that disclaimed (is that a word?  See?  Not well-read.), just a few thoughts on this whole discussion of building a mosque/Islamic cultural center "at" Ground Zero.

A: The proposed site of the mosque is not AT Ground Zero...or on the grounds of the former World Trade Center.  It's down the street.  They are not asking to build a worship center on top of the hallowed graves of our fallen heroes, of the ordinary, every day American who went to work one morning and didn't come home that night.  It's down the street.*

B: We (Christians) are outraged when rumors fly about people not being legally allowed to have church meetings in their homes.  We go crazy with email chain letters and petitions.  We champion freedom of religion and separation of church and state when we feel threatened.  We need to remember, this was land was NOT colonized and this country was NOT founded to be a Christian nation, but one of religious freedom.  The first men and women who landed here fled the forced church allegiance and religious persecution of England to find a place where they had the right and freedom to choose what they believed and how they worshipped.  It is rather bigoted of us to claim these rights only for ourselves; to say that we are only free to worship when/where/how we choose IF we are "Christian."  This is a country of equality (do I really need to quote the Declaration?).

C: All of the above said, I do agree that it is in poor taste to build a mosque - particularly such a large one - in such close proximity to Ground Zero.  Poor taste, not unconstitutional.  Quite frankly, if they own the land and hold the right permits, I don't think there is a legal leg to stand on to stop the construction.

D:  Moving on to our response as Christians.  We have only one option: Love.  Really, think back to a time before you were a Christian.  If someone came to you in the name of the their god, ridiculed you for what you believed, shouted about how evil you were simply for what you believed...how willing would you be to listen to what they believed?  Why is that our first course of action when Jesus simply loved?  Across the board, He loved.

When Jesus met the woman at the well He knew her culture, He knew her story...and by knowing these, He knew her need.  And He answered her need...her specific need, with Himself.  My question to you is this: when we meet someone on the street, how can we possibly know her need if all we do is shout about who she is without Christ?  None of us, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu...none of us are any better than she is simply because she is Muslim.  I am no more worthy of Jesus because I was born in America than she is because she was born in an Arab country**.  God doesn't make mistakes.  He doesn't view her as a lost cause for the Gospel because she was born to an Arab family.  We'd be wise to remember that it was the zealots who yelled the loudest in the New Testament, not the One who was right.  The One simply invested in lives.

We simply cannot change the religious or political climate in this country by kicking, screaming and attacking the government.  Change happens in the roots.  We need to learn to love; to teach our children to love.  Love is every bit as passionate as anger and can spread with the same epidemic force.  We live in a culture (or, at least, I do) where loving our neighbor quite literally means loving the nations.  We don't have to go overseas anymore to encounter someone with a vastly different religious and cultural outlook.  She is right down the street, maybe even literally, next door.  Love her enough to know her story, know where she comes from, know her need.  And meet that need with Jesus.  We are His hands and feet, we can very practically show her who He is and how He loves.

No, I don't know a whole lot about politics, but I know Jesus...and He is a whole lot bigger than America's political system.  I know His voice, and what His prodding feels like.  I just wonder, if Elijah heard God's still small voice in a gentle wind, why do we feel like we need to be loud on God's behalf?



*Just for the record, given the metropolitan nature of NYC and the sheer number of people who died, there is no doubt in my mind that there were ordinary, every day American MUSLIMS who had nothing to do with the group responsible for 9/11 who were killed as well.  They were American.
**From my very limited research, it appears that only 15% of the world's Muslims are Arab - however, we tend to assume the two are synonymous.

Our beloved Father

Please come down and meet us

We are waiting on Your touch

Open up the heavens

Shower down Your presence

We respond to Your great love

We won’t be satisfied

With anything ordinary

We won’t be satisfied at all

Open up the sky

Fall down the like rain

We don’t want blessings

We want You

Fall down like fire

We don’t want anything but You

Our beloved Jesus

We just want to see You

In the glory of Your light

Earthly things don’t matter

They just fade and shatter

When we’re touched by Love Divine

Here we go, let’s go to the Throne

The place that we belong

Right into His arms

I first heard this song in February of 2009. Right away, from the first chorus, it rang true with my heart. I was in the midst of a difficult, dark season. The Lord had stripped from me some things, activities, positions that I had thought were essential to my very being. As in every move He makes, He was very right and I was very wrong. He took those things from me in order to force me - it was a tender and loving force, but it was, most certainly, forceable - to force me to find my identity in Him rather than the things I did.

Ouch.

“We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary, we won’t be satisfied at all.”

The very first time I read those lyrics I understood why I was willingly walking through that time with the Lord, instead of pushing through life as it had been. I don’t want life. I want LIFE - life abundant, life adventurous, life loud and life joyful. And, even if I didn’t understand what was going on at the time, I trusted the God who promised me these things.

That said, the Lord blessed my struggling, bumbling faithfulness to follow and let go of the things I loved - the things I had previously thought identified me - and returned them in ways I can’t even express. God is good, my friends, He is good.

As 2009 came to a close, I knew deep down that 2010 was going to be a big year for me and the Lord. Bigger even, if it was possible, than the early months of 2009. This fact was clear to me in the part of my heart that I now know is where the Lord speaks to me, then it was just a settled truth in my spirit. And I knew it with more resolution every time I sang this song.

Now, for as much as I knew that things were going to change in 2010, that the Lord would be new and real to me, I could never have expected it to happen so quickly or so profoundly. It’s only March, and the beginning of March at that. But, already, I know that my relationship with the Lord will never be what it was - there’s no going back.

You see, this year I have embarked on a journey of prayer that I merely flirted with last summer - a journey of prayer, communion and community with the Lord that can’t be adequately explained without personal experience.

Listening prayer is just that - asking the Lord and...are you ready for this? - actually listening for the answer.

Whoa.

Earth-shattering, I know.

God speaks, my friends. He does. He speaks to us each in different ways. For me, it’s in pictures. I see things - I hesitate to call them visions, but pictures. Even if the Lord is just giving me a word, which He often does for me, I see it in some sort of calligraphy. And, I love it.

I love how so often, when I inquire of the Lord, He so very quickly answers me...almost as if He’s actually eager to talk to me. Oh, but wait, He is! (Proverbs 1:23) Why - why!? - was I never taught this before? Most times, He is answering before I can even get the question out. It both calms and excites my heart to know that He is waiting...no...longing for me to be quiet and still enough for Him to answer.

Listening prayer is every bit as simple as it is complex. There is beauty in the expression and peace in the revelation. God is good - He loves - and He gives what we need and what we can handle in the moment and never yet have I discovered something I had expected.

Freedom. Power. Beauty. Art. Boldness. Truth. All things I’ve found in listening prayer. Not things I’ve received or been given. I already had them. And, the Lord has so graciously and gently shown me that they were already there, I just needed to access them, live in them, walk in them. All of these have changed the way I think, the way I speak and, most amazingly, the way I pray.

“Here we go, let’s go to the throne, the place where we belong, right into His arms.”

Prayer now, for me, isn’t just an act of attempting to defy gravity. I’m not tossing my concerns up to the sky and hoping they break through the atmosphere and make it to the ear of the Lord. No. Now, I walk into the throne room of the King of Kings, crawl in His lap and have a chat with my Dad. Because I’ve heard Him answer, I know that He cares for the concerns of my heart. He wants to hear, and He longs to answer.

.”Our beloved Jesus, we just want to see You, in the glory of Your light.”

I heard this song today for the first time in a while. It has become my anthem for 2010, and I do think of it often, but I hadn’t listened to it in it’s entirety for a few weeks. It serves as such a sweet reminder of where I was a year ago and where the Lord has brought me since. I’ve learned obedience and patience. I’ve learned to sit and to listen. To really listen. To listen to what He says to me and about me - not just to what I want to hear or think He says.

In learning to sit and to listen I’ve learned that He loves ME. That He loves me for me - for who I am and who He created me to be. I’ve learned that, if I am willing to sit and listen and act on what I hear, that I will become more of who He created me to be than I ever have been - or ever will be by fighting and pushing on my own.

This lesson of listening and knowing and curling up in His lap, this will go with me forever. This isn’t one of those lessons that I learn and remember for a while and then need to be reminded of again and again. No, this one is resolute. The more I hear from Him, the more I long to hear from Him. The more I hear His voice, the more excited I am for the next time I can sit and listen.

He speaks, my friends. He speaks. Just listen. You’ll be blown away. And, I assure you, you won’t find anything ordinary.

It's Been a While, But...

Yes, it's been, like, 6 months since I've blogged...hey, I've been busy...cut me some slack! :)

For all 2 people who actually look at my blog, this might make up for my extended absence:

http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html

Go there. And then, enter to win a TOUCH SCREEN COMPUTER.

On second thought, just go there...don't actually enter...that'll reduce my chances to win. Although, since only 2 people read this, I don't know that 2 more entries will hurt my chances THAT much.

:)

We All Have Our Hamans to Bear

Here's the setting: Ancient Persia. The Jews had been taken captive, removed from their homes and carried, in exile, to Babylon. We're talking Daniel and his buddies. Eventually, Cyrus (a Medo-Persian king) conquers Babylon and issues a decree allowing the Jews to return home to Jerusalem and rebuild their temple. I'm not exactly sure the measurement of time, but at this point, the Jews had been in Persia long enough that some were comfortable enough to not take Cyrus up on his offer to return home, choosing instead to stay in Persia. Several decades later...long enough that the Jews have so assimilated into the Persian culture that nobody even knows Esther is Jewish. The people of God were no longer living a set-apart life.

So, here we are. In Persia, decades after Cyrus allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem. Xerxes has been humiliated several times over, not only on the battlefield, but in his own home. Vashti has been banished (probably, ultimately, to her own benefit) and Esther has been chosen as her replacement.

Esther's beloved cousin, Mordecai, who really acted more as a father, paces the city gates daily to ensure her safety. He saves the king's life by reporting a murder threat and, in turn, is required to bow to the son of a family that has been an enemy to his own family for generations. Think Hatfields and McCoys. Mordecai refuses to bow to Haman, or to pay him honor. I find it interesting that, in hindsight, already knowing how the Lord will work this story out, that I just assume his refusal to bow is similar to that of Daniel and his pals, that he will not bow before anyone but the Lord. Without actually researching this point, I have to say it appears that isn't really the case. Mordecai has raised Esther from (apparently) a very young age. If he is such a devout Jew that he would bow to no one but the Lord, wouldn't he have raised Esther to be a more devout Jew? Or, at the very least, Jewish enough that people in their community, the other girls she was in the harem with would know of her heritage? It looks like his refusal to bow is based not in commitment to the Lord, but old family grudges...all be they understandable grudges.

So, as a result of Mordecai's refusal, Haman takes the opportunity to wipe out the Jewish presence from the Persian empire. The edict goes forth from Haman to destroy anyone or anything of Jewish decent on the very day the Jews would celebrate Passover and remember what had been, up to that point, the most blatant portrayal of oppression, deliverance and redemption.

A quick recap: the Jews were living in a land that wasn't their own; a place they didn't belong. Persia was not where God had intended for them to live. He sent them there to get their attention. They had been provided a means of escape. Cyrus had let them go...they could have gone home, back to the place the Lord had promised them from the days early on. And, they chose not to go. And, as a result, they now faced a mortal enemy and certain death.

So, let's import this circumstance to our own time. We, as believers, live in a land that isn't our own, a place where we don't belong. This world is not what God intended for us. It is not what He created us for. He created us for a place so much better...and place of uninhibited relationship, communion and worship with and of Himself. And we face an enemy that is entirely impossible for us to overcome or defeat without the intervention of God. We face an enemy who is trying, desperately, to kill us, to wipe our presence from the face of the earth. This enemy knows he can't win...that he has already lost.

Unfortunately, we're the ones who remain unconvinced of that truth.

God has worked miracles in our past...both corporately and personally, not the least of which (can you even qualify a miracle as 'greatest' or 'least'???) is our own salvation. I can look at my own past, my own life, and see the miracles, but they're mine. Look for your own. If the Lord worked those, will He not work others? He doesn't run out. He doesn't have a limit to the number of cancer patients He can heal before that element of His power is gone. He can't only save so many families and businesses from bankruptcy before the money runs out. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills to keep us fed...and the hills the cattle stand on, as well.

And, His timing is perfection.

I think Beth Moore hit the nail on the head when she said that sometimes the Lord's timing in sending a new threat, a new Haman, serves to remind us of the ones He's delivered us from in the past. This is the exact reason I have a tattoo on my foot. (Click here for that story.) So, the next time a Haman shows up in our own lives, maybe our response shouldn't be 'Why now, Lord?' But, rather, 'Lord, help me remember Your faithfulness.' He's been faithful to provide, protect and rescue for the last, oh, six thousand years or so...He's not going to forget us tomorrow.

A True Conversation

My friend: I like your belt.

Me: Thanks. I got in the Caribbean in January.

Her: Cool...and your necklace is beautiful...

Me: Oh, thank you...it was a gift when I was in Lebanon last month.

At this point we looked at each other and laughed at how ridiculous this conversation was.

Her: And, your earrings?

Me: Oh, those are from Kohls...50% off!

I love my life.

Yah...it's a long one...

Whoa...I think I just had my world blown open a little bit.

Whoa.

I’ve been talking about my past a lot lately, with a couple different people...just sharing. And, when one talks about his or her life, he or she tends to think about his or her life as well. (Now, I know it’s grammatically correct to do all the he/she, his/her stuff...but that takes to long...let’s face it...I’m talking about me.)

I tend to be very competitive. I don’t like to lose. At anything. Even just life challenges...I don’t want to be beat. When I run, as I run that last 1/8th of a mile and I feel like my chest might explode or my legs completely give out, what I am telling myself, sometimes audibly, is “don’t let this 8th beat you...push it out...you can beat this.” Often, in life challenges and hard times, I look at what I’m facing and make the choice to trust God, to find joy and to continue walking. For me, one of Buddy’s most powerful sermons was when he said that faith and fear are the same emotion, we just make the choice.

All of that said, looking back at my life, I wouldn’t change any of it. I’m thankful for it...even the really hard, crappy parts when my life pretty much fell apart. Why? Because I know, I know...beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is the story God wrote for me. And, if He wrote it, He has a purpose for it. And just recently (like, this past week) I’ve come to realize that, because of this knowledge, I would rather walk through the hard stuff...earn that faith, than have an easier life. Seriously. Because with all of that comes the knowledge that the Lord is using me. That He has chosen me for a situation that can bring Him glory. And that presents a challenge to me...will I choose the faith to bring Him glory, or will I choose the fear that could make someone question the size of my God? I surely don’t want to lose in that competition!

Yeah...this is gonna’ be long...

So, in the midst of all of this self-discovery or whatever you want to call it, I’ve started Beth Moore’s Esther study. No lie, Day 1 of Week 1...mind blown. She makes the comment that the book of Esther begins with the phrase “This is what happened...” Biblically speaking, this is a rather rare statement; it is the equivalent of a biblical “Once upon a time...”

The Hebrew for “this is what happened,” wayhi bime appears five times in the Bible. All five times they lead into a story of catastrophe and doom. (I can’t find a list of the five, but I’m pretty sure Beth is right.)

But...

But, each of those five stories end happily, after much grief. I’m sure Job is one of those five. Everyone knows the terror of his life...but keep in mind the ending. The Lord blessed the second part of Job’s life more than the first. He had children in numbers equal to the ones he lost and livestock double what he’d originally had. But, not until after the hard-fought battle.

Beth wraps up the day’s study with this quote: “When we trust our lives to the hand and pen of an unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read.”

I feel like that’s the life I’ve been living...a lot of it without even realizing it.

That’s certainly the life I want to live.

Good Heavens...this is, literally, just the first day. It’s gonna’ be a good study.

Shiloh, Elkanah, Hannah and Efrain

This:



is my tattoo...not that anyone really asked...but I figured now is just as good a time as any to explain what it means.

Sorry it's such a terrible picture.

It's on the inside of my left ankle.

Here's the thing...I know there are plenty of people who don't like tattoos, find them evil or dirty or sinful or whatever. Clearly, I am not one of those people.

Let me first explain why I got a tattoo. I didn't it just because I wanted to, or because my friends all have them...quite the contrary, actually. My tattoo is, for me, a reminder of God's faithfulness and His promises. I didn't want a tattoo, so this is what I got. I wanted to remember the Lord's faithfulness and His promises and this is how I chose to do that.

Now, on to what it means...

The big shape is the outline of Peru. I've been there three times since December of 2003 and every time, the Lord has done big things for me. The second time (April 2005), He made me a promise. That if South America (meaning, a life there) is what I want, I needed to wait. Just wait. That I wasn't ready...I needed to trust Him and wait.

A lot has happened since then.

Ok, that's the shape.

The lettering to the right is the Hebrew word for Shiloh...specifically, for Shiloh, the place mentioned in 1 Samuel 1. Basically, Shiloh is where the Lord took Hannah when He promised her what her heart most desired. Later, she received the answer to that promise in Ramah.

Peru is my Shiloh. It was where the Lord took promised me what my heart most desires. Prayerfully, Ecuador is my Ramah.

And, just to make the whole thing a little cooler, some extra info about the word Shiloh...
-'Shiloh' as a name means 'His Gift.' Clearly, Peru was a gift for me.
-Hannah's husband, Elkanah, was from the tribe of Ephraim. For me, there are two cool things about this: 1.) Efrain (the Spanish form of Ephraim) is the son of my closest friend in Ecuador. And 2.) Ephraim, as in the son of Jacob and the tribe of Israel, means 'the Lord has made me fruitful in my barrenness.' The Lord most definitely took me to Peru in a time of barrenness.

And, so, that is the story of my tattoo...and why I love it.

Red and Yellow, Black and White

"Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life."
Isaiah 43:4

This is how I know God loves us:






Color.

I was struck by this once in Peru about five years ago...and it changed the way I viewed a lot of things. God could have created this world in one color. Everything could be just blah. It could all be beige. Or olive green. Olive green was always the least used color in my Crayola box. I always hated olive green.

He could have.

But He didn’t.

Instead He gave us color. Stunning, breathtaking, awe-inspiring color. As I write this, i am sitting outside, looking over the Caribbean Ocean. It is a blue words couldn’t even begin to describe and the sun reflects off it’s surface in a million sparkles. The sky is currently several ridiculous shades of blue and white. Off to my left is the southern end of the island painted in limitless shades of green from the jungly mountaintops to the grassy rolling hills. Just beyond the end of this island is the mass of rock that is Nevis, the next island. Usually, it’s hidden under cloud cover and you can’t see much from here...but today is clear. The part of Nevis visible from here is a large mountain covered in a beautiful deep emerald green...much prettier than olive green.

Yesterday we spent hours out on the boat, out in a cove. I think I love that cove because of the range of creation you can see there. Sit on the boat and look out toward the horizon and see forever blue ocean. There aren’t many waves here...it’s smooth as far as you can see. Turn around and look toward land and see, down where the water meets the land, huge rocks and a high, rocky cliff. Even the rocks here are pretty...so many variations of grays and whites and silvers...and the shapes on the cliff. They look like God, Himself, stretched out His hand and carved them with His own finger. Look up higher on the cliff, though, and the vegetation begins and you find a whole new world of greens.

But, then, my favorite part...put on your mask and snorkle and look down. If you just kind of float on the top and breath...don’t splash too much...it’s like they forget you’re there and they all come out. The fish. They are unbelievable. Too many colors and variations on colors to even begin to describe.

This underwater world isn’t a world we were meant to live in...and yet He put those colors there for us to find. Just to say, ‘Hey, I put this here just for you to enjoy. Look at these and know how much I love you.’

Everything could be tan and khaki and blah...but it isn’t. Color is a gift from God above to remind us how very much He loves us. He doesn’t need these things to be so many incredible colors. They aren’t necessary for Him to accomplish His tasks. They are there because He loves us, because we are precious in His sight.

I think the people in our lives are colors, too.

The people who bring joy and laughter to our lives...they are our pinks and reds and bright blues. They are the Caribbean Oceans in our daily lives.

And your earth tones: solid, deep oranges and greens...like the top of Nevis right now. They are the relationships of stability and longevity. The ones who never move, who are always right where you need them to be.

Life without the silvers and grays of the cliff would be so difficult. They are the relationships that bring highlights to the dark, sorrowful moments of our lives.

Yellows, like the sun that beats on me right now, the treasured ones who bring a reminder that tomorrow is a new day. That the sun will rise and you can begin again.

A few relationships have been such key factors in the way God has chosen to reveal Himself and His love for me. Without even thinking, I can list people who are each of these colors to me...without them, my life would be painted in plain tans and khakis.

I am so thankful for the Lord’s love and the so very many ways He reveals that to us!

Can anyone else not wrap their brain around this:

But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
"For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
"Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
"Do not fear, for I am with you"

Isaiah 43.1-5

Not Me! Monday

So, over on the right side of my blog is a button about praying for sweet baby Stellan that also serves as a link to MckMama's blog. Stellan's story is beyond amazing and his life outside MckMama's belly hasn't even begun yet! Seriously...it's worth reading. I warn you, though, once you start you won't be able to stop.

So, about Not Me! Monday...go here to see what it's all about and then do one yourself!



I have not, not at all, pulled up MckMama's blog just to look at her new header with a for real live picture of Stellan instead of the sonogram...that would be stalkerish.

I did not attempt to read MckMama's post about Stellan's birth at work one day...only to give up because I was crying and didn't want to have to explain to my co-workers that I was crying over a blog. And then I didn't try to read it again later that afternoon and cry like a baby all over again. Over a blog. A blog belonging to someone I've never met in for real life. Does that make me an official stalker???

I did not just see my first Christmas commercial...seriously, folks? It's barely November! At least there's no more political commercials!!! :)

I did not have to try FIVE different registers at Target before they could find one where both the computer and the debit card machine would work. And if I had, I certainly wouldn't have left my wallet sitting at one of those registers.

I did not miss a day and a half of work last week because of migraine issues.

I did not attempt to get out of a flu shot at church yesterday by saying that I'm afraid of needles...if I had it surely would have worked because all of those ladies didn't surely see my brand spanking new tattoo just a couple weeks ago. I also didn't run out of excuses and go ahead and get the shot. And I won't be super mad if I get the flu this year.

Sometimes God just blows my mind...

Read this:

STELLAN Update!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Stellan!!!

We're so excited to "meet" you!

I just checked my past posts and I can't believe I haven't posted about this sweet boy before! I mean, I kinda' have with my Not Me! Monday posts...but not just about he and his family.

Back in July when his sweet mama (affectionately known around the world as MckMama) was 24 weeks pregnant (some of my details may not be entirely correct...I am not medical), Stellan's heart went crazy...he had severe heart blockage and some pretty crazy tachycardia. MckMama was told that Stellan's only chance of surviving outside of the womb would be feasible if he made it to 31 weeks...but with the state of his heart, he wouldn't survive another 24 hours even in the womb.

And thus began the prayer vigil...and the phenomena known as Stellan-mania.

Actually, I just made that up...but it's pretty ridiculous how many people, literally, around the world "know" MckMama, Stellan and the rest of her brood and are praying for her faithfully.

All of that to say, in about 35 minutes-ish, MckMama is headed in to the OR for a c-section to deliver sweet Stellan at 39 weeks (I think). He has been doing SO well! They even took her off the medication she was taking for his heart.

Three months ago, Stellan had irreversible heart blockage.

Now there is no evidence of it.

Three months ago, Stellan's doctors said he wouldn't live another 24 hours.

Three freaking months ago.

And he'll be here among us in a little more than half an hour.

And there is a good chance he won't need medical intervention.

Un-freaking believeable. That's how stinking cool our God is.

So, pray for Stellan and MckMama.

(Oh, and for all the accurate details, read MckMama's blog: My Charming Kids. You will be blessed, encouraged and entertained.)

Not Me! Monday

So, over on the right side of my blog is a button about praying for sweet baby Stellan that also serves as a link to MckMama's blog. Stellan's story is beyond amazing and his life outside MckMama's belly hasn't even begun yet! Seriously...it's worth reading. I warn you, though, once you start you won't be able to stop.

So, about Not Me! Monday...go here to see what it's all about and then do one yourself!



I was not so busy/frustrated/sick last week that I skipped Not Me! Monday entirely.

This is most certainly not me...



And I am most certainly not doing this...



But...purely for the sake of hypothesizing...if I did do such a thing, it would look like this...



While working on the production team at church, I did not slip up behind the guy I was training during the service, grab his arm and try to pull him to follow me...I did not then realize it was not the right guy, but a teenager. Eeee...awkward.

I did not really appreciate the accounting (payroll) lady fix all my mistakes on my time card so my boss wouldn't fuss at me.

I did not get asked three times yesterday who my husband is or what my maiden name was. Just because I'm 28 doesn't mean I'm married, people!

I do not have an exessively lame list of Not Me's.

South Gwinnett Prayer Walk

It was a great night! Just posted pictures: Shiloh Photography.

Not Me! Monday

So, over on the right side of my blog is a button about praying for sweet baby Stellan that also serves as a link to MckMama's blog. Stellan's story is beyond amazing and his life outside MckMama's belly hasn't even begun yet! Seriously...it's worth reading. I warn you, though, once you start you won't be able to stop.

So, about Not Me! Monday...go here to see what it's all about and then do one yourself!



I did not get ridiculously excited that I had two comments on last week's Not Me! Monday post within minutes of posting it...AND because one of them was from MckMama.

When telling others the amazing story of wee Stellan, I do not refer to MckMama as "this girl I know" or "my friend" even though I have never met her in real life and have only emailed a few times. That would be a little obsessive and slightly stalker-ish. Sure am glad I don't do that.

Since I do not start my new Not Me! Monday post shortly after posting the previous one, I am not hoping that the events of this week give me more to blog about since my last three consecutive posts have been Not Me! Monday posts. But I don't start my Not Me! Monday posts (and I definitely don't repeatedly hit "save as draft") early enough to do that.

I did not get REALLY excited when I saw that people from THREE different countries have visited my blog over the last 36 hours...that's SO cool...I mean...that is SO not-cool!

This past week I was not asked (and definitely did not accept) an offer to coordinate a mock wedding for a pretty huge bridal show. Of course, if I had been asked and accepted, I would have had to create a 'company' name and blog to have a professional looking listing on the vendor list, but I did not. And, if I had created a 'company' and a blog it most certainly would not be called Shiloh Fusion Events...and that wouldn't be a link to said blog. Oh, and I wouldn't have high plans to spend a number of my 40 work hours this week creating posts for that blog from the weddings I've done in the past...I'm far to diligent and disciplined for that.

Shiloh.Fusion Events

So, when I was working on my Not Me! Monday post for last week, I was hoping that I would have a little something more interesting happen this week so there would actually be a post or two in between my Not Me! Monday posts...'cause, really, how lame is it to have three Not Me! Monday posts in a row???

And, it did! My amazing, talented and beautiful friend Callie emailed me a few weeks back and said she had a new project she wanted to talk to me about. Callie is a year or so ahead of me in the whole "start your own photography business thing" and we've done some stuff together. She's taught me A TON about photography...we've done a couple weddings, and a couple shoots together. But, after that email, we didn't really talk for a while.

Last weekend, though, she had a going away party for my new Real American Hero, her husband, David. He left this past Monday for Navy training. Really, he and Callie both are my heroes these days...I cannot even begin to express my appreciation for them!

So, at the party, she threw out a new project idea...and it's almost as incredible as she is! Callie is hosting (or would it be hostessing? Does Callie even care??? I think not.)...she's putting together a bridal show...but not your traditional bridal show...a mock wedding. She's calling it the NotWedding. It's a whole big wedding with a bride and groom and bridesmaids and invitations and music and a reception with food and cake...and it's going to be flippin amazing!

And, I get to coordinate/direct the ceremony portion of the program! Again I say, so flippin exciting!!!

And, I'll be on the vendor list as coordinator.

Because of that, I needed a blog or website or something. So, I created Shiloh.Fusion Events...and the Shiloh.Fusion blog. I've only put up a post or two in case anybody runs across it before I get it put together...but, as I find the stuff I need, I'll be creating a post for each of the weddings I've done in the past. Check back if you're interested.

The name Shiloh.Fusion...

Over on the right side of my blog, where the links are, you'll see a link to Shiloh Photography. That's my photography company. I LOVE the word Shiloh and all that it means and stands for. The name Shiloh (like, for a person) means "His gift" and that is precisely what photography is for me...a gift from the Lord. So, it was a perfect name.

Shiloh is also the place in 1 Samuel where the Lord to Hannah when He promised her her heart's desire. It's not where He fulfilled it, but where He gave her the promise.

in naming my events planning efforts i wanted something that coordinated. In other places in the Old Testament, Shiloh refers to a place of rest, as well as a reference to Jesus as the "peaceful one." The town of Shiloh was a fairly nondescript place...a blank landscape to be filled by the new residents. Isn't that what marriage is all about??? A place of safety for the bride and groom...and blank canvas to be decorated by the bride and groom...and most of all, a reflection of Jesus?

So, Shiloh.

The definition of fusion:
the process or result of joining two or more things together to form a single entity

So, Fusion.

Shiloh.Fusion Events...two people becoming one to be a peaceful representation of Jesus...my prayer for the weddings I coordinate.