We All Have Our Hamans to Bear

Here's the setting: Ancient Persia. The Jews had been taken captive, removed from their homes and carried, in exile, to Babylon. We're talking Daniel and his buddies. Eventually, Cyrus (a Medo-Persian king) conquers Babylon and issues a decree allowing the Jews to return home to Jerusalem and rebuild their temple. I'm not exactly sure the measurement of time, but at this point, the Jews had been in Persia long enough that some were comfortable enough to not take Cyrus up on his offer to return home, choosing instead to stay in Persia. Several decades later...long enough that the Jews have so assimilated into the Persian culture that nobody even knows Esther is Jewish. The people of God were no longer living a set-apart life.

So, here we are. In Persia, decades after Cyrus allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem. Xerxes has been humiliated several times over, not only on the battlefield, but in his own home. Vashti has been banished (probably, ultimately, to her own benefit) and Esther has been chosen as her replacement.

Esther's beloved cousin, Mordecai, who really acted more as a father, paces the city gates daily to ensure her safety. He saves the king's life by reporting a murder threat and, in turn, is required to bow to the son of a family that has been an enemy to his own family for generations. Think Hatfields and McCoys. Mordecai refuses to bow to Haman, or to pay him honor. I find it interesting that, in hindsight, already knowing how the Lord will work this story out, that I just assume his refusal to bow is similar to that of Daniel and his pals, that he will not bow before anyone but the Lord. Without actually researching this point, I have to say it appears that isn't really the case. Mordecai has raised Esther from (apparently) a very young age. If he is such a devout Jew that he would bow to no one but the Lord, wouldn't he have raised Esther to be a more devout Jew? Or, at the very least, Jewish enough that people in their community, the other girls she was in the harem with would know of her heritage? It looks like his refusal to bow is based not in commitment to the Lord, but old family grudges...all be they understandable grudges.

So, as a result of Mordecai's refusal, Haman takes the opportunity to wipe out the Jewish presence from the Persian empire. The edict goes forth from Haman to destroy anyone or anything of Jewish decent on the very day the Jews would celebrate Passover and remember what had been, up to that point, the most blatant portrayal of oppression, deliverance and redemption.

A quick recap: the Jews were living in a land that wasn't their own; a place they didn't belong. Persia was not where God had intended for them to live. He sent them there to get their attention. They had been provided a means of escape. Cyrus had let them go...they could have gone home, back to the place the Lord had promised them from the days early on. And, they chose not to go. And, as a result, they now faced a mortal enemy and certain death.

So, let's import this circumstance to our own time. We, as believers, live in a land that isn't our own, a place where we don't belong. This world is not what God intended for us. It is not what He created us for. He created us for a place so much better...and place of uninhibited relationship, communion and worship with and of Himself. And we face an enemy that is entirely impossible for us to overcome or defeat without the intervention of God. We face an enemy who is trying, desperately, to kill us, to wipe our presence from the face of the earth. This enemy knows he can't win...that he has already lost.

Unfortunately, we're the ones who remain unconvinced of that truth.

God has worked miracles in our past...both corporately and personally, not the least of which (can you even qualify a miracle as 'greatest' or 'least'???) is our own salvation. I can look at my own past, my own life, and see the miracles, but they're mine. Look for your own. If the Lord worked those, will He not work others? He doesn't run out. He doesn't have a limit to the number of cancer patients He can heal before that element of His power is gone. He can't only save so many families and businesses from bankruptcy before the money runs out. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills to keep us fed...and the hills the cattle stand on, as well.

And, His timing is perfection.

I think Beth Moore hit the nail on the head when she said that sometimes the Lord's timing in sending a new threat, a new Haman, serves to remind us of the ones He's delivered us from in the past. This is the exact reason I have a tattoo on my foot. (Click here for that story.) So, the next time a Haman shows up in our own lives, maybe our response shouldn't be 'Why now, Lord?' But, rather, 'Lord, help me remember Your faithfulness.' He's been faithful to provide, protect and rescue for the last, oh, six thousand years or so...He's not going to forget us tomorrow.

A True Conversation

My friend: I like your belt.

Me: Thanks. I got in the Caribbean in January.

Her: Cool...and your necklace is beautiful...

Me: Oh, thank you...it was a gift when I was in Lebanon last month.

At this point we looked at each other and laughed at how ridiculous this conversation was.

Her: And, your earrings?

Me: Oh, those are from Kohls...50% off!

I love my life.

Yah...it's a long one...

Whoa...I think I just had my world blown open a little bit.

Whoa.

I’ve been talking about my past a lot lately, with a couple different people...just sharing. And, when one talks about his or her life, he or she tends to think about his or her life as well. (Now, I know it’s grammatically correct to do all the he/she, his/her stuff...but that takes to long...let’s face it...I’m talking about me.)

I tend to be very competitive. I don’t like to lose. At anything. Even just life challenges...I don’t want to be beat. When I run, as I run that last 1/8th of a mile and I feel like my chest might explode or my legs completely give out, what I am telling myself, sometimes audibly, is “don’t let this 8th beat you...push it out...you can beat this.” Often, in life challenges and hard times, I look at what I’m facing and make the choice to trust God, to find joy and to continue walking. For me, one of Buddy’s most powerful sermons was when he said that faith and fear are the same emotion, we just make the choice.

All of that said, looking back at my life, I wouldn’t change any of it. I’m thankful for it...even the really hard, crappy parts when my life pretty much fell apart. Why? Because I know, I know...beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is the story God wrote for me. And, if He wrote it, He has a purpose for it. And just recently (like, this past week) I’ve come to realize that, because of this knowledge, I would rather walk through the hard stuff...earn that faith, than have an easier life. Seriously. Because with all of that comes the knowledge that the Lord is using me. That He has chosen me for a situation that can bring Him glory. And that presents a challenge to me...will I choose the faith to bring Him glory, or will I choose the fear that could make someone question the size of my God? I surely don’t want to lose in that competition!

Yeah...this is gonna’ be long...

So, in the midst of all of this self-discovery or whatever you want to call it, I’ve started Beth Moore’s Esther study. No lie, Day 1 of Week 1...mind blown. She makes the comment that the book of Esther begins with the phrase “This is what happened...” Biblically speaking, this is a rather rare statement; it is the equivalent of a biblical “Once upon a time...”

The Hebrew for “this is what happened,” wayhi bime appears five times in the Bible. All five times they lead into a story of catastrophe and doom. (I can’t find a list of the five, but I’m pretty sure Beth is right.)

But...

But, each of those five stories end happily, after much grief. I’m sure Job is one of those five. Everyone knows the terror of his life...but keep in mind the ending. The Lord blessed the second part of Job’s life more than the first. He had children in numbers equal to the ones he lost and livestock double what he’d originally had. But, not until after the hard-fought battle.

Beth wraps up the day’s study with this quote: “When we trust our lives to the hand and pen of an unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read.”

I feel like that’s the life I’ve been living...a lot of it without even realizing it.

That’s certainly the life I want to live.

Good Heavens...this is, literally, just the first day. It’s gonna’ be a good study.