Also, a book review

A Thousand Splendid Suns
by: Khalid Housseini

I just finished reading this the other day...I read it because I read his first book, The Kite Runner, and thought it was great.

This one, not so much. Mostly, I thought it was boring. I feel like I would read and read and read about nothing...and finally I'd come to a part that was riveting and the riveting-ness would last for a page, and then it was a lot of monotony again. Some of it was hard to follow, too. At times it jumped around and the sequence was hard to follow.

Really, though, the reason I didn't like the book was...well, there isn't a word for it so let me explain. The things that happened to Mariam and Laila were atrocious. Absolutely horrible. If it isn't/wasn't that bad in Afghanistan, then it was over the top. If life in Afghanistan is/was that awful, then it shouldn't be fictionalized. The more I read, the more I felt like I was being desensitized to the plight of Afghanistan's women. I mean, we all know living conditions aren't great for women there. If we are reading fictional accounts of how bad it is, we aren't going to believe true accounts of how awful it is. Just as they say children are becoming desensitized to violence because of TV, we will become desensitized to the horrors of Middle Eastern culture if we continue to read fiction. If life really is that atrocious there and Housseini wants the world to know about it, he needs to write non-fiction, truth and engage the world in the plight of women and children in Afghanistan...not half-truth so that nobody really knows what is true and what isn't.

And, this book just wasn't as well written as the first.

Oh, dear...I believe I turned my ankle stepping off yet another soapbox.

I'm a climber...

I don't mean to climb up on soapboxes all the time...but I find myself up there so very often. I'm afraid that is a sign of being judgmental. I don't want to be judgmental...I prefer passionate, sure, or some other adjective that means that I firmly believe what I say (sorry...I'm tired).

One of my most often summited soapboxes has to do with Christian t-shirts. I'm ok with Christian t-shirts...if they are original. But, the ones where we have stolen the logos of non-Jesus products and turned them around to be all Jesus-y. Really, folks? We were created in the image of God...of a creative God. Why can't we come up with something pithy and catchy ourselves? Ok, so the contents of this soapbox, for me, might come from the artist in me. I love watching people create the art that they love...musicians, writers, painters.

Anyway, my current soapbox has to do with the whole "Jesus is the reason for the season" and "keeping Christ in Christmas" thing. And, I know, I'm not going to win any friends by saying what I'm about to say...but its what I think and if you have a rebuttal, bring it...I'd sort of like to be wrong about this.

The reality is, Jesus isn't the reason for this season...He's the reason for any season, the reason for any good thing. Why are we making such a stinking big deal about Him being the reason for celebration now and not the rest of the year? And, keeping Christ in Christmas...Christmas is a tradition started to counteract a pagan holiday, not to celebrate Jesus. If Jesus is the reason for the season and we're working so dad-gum hard to keep in Christmas, why are we, Christians, spending so much on Christmas gifts. Why do we put ourselves in debt...willingly putting ourselves into something that enslaves us and makes us less available to ministry to celebrate Jesus? I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's not what He intends for us.

I definitely bought/made Christmas presents this year...but I didn't give them as a way to celebrate Jesus. I didn't give them out of love for Jesus...I gave them out of love and appreciation for the people they were for. Granted, yes, the things I love about the people I gave gifts to are a direct result of the work Jesus has done in their lives. But, I find it ridiculous and frustrating when people say Christmas is all about Jesus and act another way...and these same people won't talk to people about Jesus the rest of the year...or worse, caution me not to talk to people about Jesus.

Ok...enough soapbox.

That said...Jesus did some pretty amazing things for me this Christmas. I learned a lot. I'll share that stuff later. :)

Love you, friends!

She's All Better Now

From Sarah's Blog tonight:

The Angels are Singing Tonight!

As of 7:45 p.m. Mountain Time, Ellie has been dancing in Heaven! She stayed asleep until 15 minutes before and then it wasn't exactly peaceful, but true to form, Ellie was fighting to the end. John and I were both with her at the end. I silently begged God to take her, and then said "run to Jesus, Ellie... run!" and it was over. I will have more to write later, but for now, please know that your prayers have been answered - it was unbelievably fast. Thank you all for your love!

As I've prayed for Ellie, Sarah & John and especially Nancy tonight, this song has been running through my head:

If You Could See Me Now
(Kim Noblitt)

Our prayers have all been answered. I finally arrived.
The healing that had been delayed has now been realized.
No one's in a hurry. There's no schedule to keep.
We're all enjoying Jesus, just sitting at His feet.

If you could see me now, I'm walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now, I'm standing strong and whole.
If you could see me now, you'd know I've seen His face.
If you could see me now, you'd know the pain is erased.
You wouldn't want me to ever leave this place,
If you could only see me now.

My light and temporary trials have worked out for my good,
To know it brought Him glory when I misunderstood.
Though we've had our sorrows, they can never compare.
What Jesus has in store for us, no language can share.

You wouldn't want me to ever leave this perfect place
If you could only see me now
If you could see me now
If you could only see me now

The Coffee Family Story

I know this is long, but it's so great...such a story of God's provision. The Ruth in this story is my amazing sister. She was adopted from China in 2003. Her adoption, I think, is something my parents were able to afford through the inheritance my mom received when her mother passed away in 2001. As incredible painful as my grandmother's death was, stories like this make it so ok. It's amazing to me that 6 years after she died, the Lord is still using her to change lives.

Read, particularly, the parts I've italicized. :)

The Coffee Family Story

My story begins with the devastating diagnosis of infertility and ends with two miraculous events…an adoption and the birth of a biological child.

I married my college sweetheart, Brad. We got married soon after I graduated from college in 1990. Brad and I spent our twenties completing graduate school and starting our careers. We began trying to have children in our early thirties. After several years without success, we sought treatment from a reproductive endocrinologist.

In an attempt to make a long and painful story short, I received the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve from a reproductive endocrinology intern. The intern said that if I really wanted children, I would need to consider adoption and/or the use of donor eggs. Prior to this phone call, the last conversation I had with my reproductive endocrinologist was that I should be able to get pregnant. Needless to say, my immediate reaction was that of shock. I cried hysterically while driving myself home after that phone call. Brad left work and met me at home. He and I cried all day. It was a day I will never forget.

Soon after receiving this devastating news, Brad and I went to another fertility clinic to get a second opinion. Unfortunately, failed in-vitro fertilization confirmed the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve. One reproductive endocrinologist sat at his desk and said to me, “Not all fertility problems are black and white, but yours are. You need to consider alternative ways to having children.” This all happened in the spring of 2004.

I continued to grieve the loss of a biological child. Brad did, too. I was terribly depressed, but never sought professional counseling for it. Instead, I looked to my friends for strength. I also looked to Brad, but found that my close friends provided the most comfort and support.

What I got from Brad was his unconditional love. The guilt I had of not being able to give him a biological child was overwhelming. I performed my daily routines and I’m sure most people didn’t realize I was hurting. I was sad, though, and felt empty.

I’m a pediatric speech-language pathologist. One of my former clients, Ruth, was adopted from China at age 11 months. I started working with her in July, 2004 when she was 13 months old. I quickly fell in love with Ruthie. I also quickly became friends with her mother, Sharon. Sharon watched as a bond developed between Ruthie and me over the course of several months. She eventually told me (yes, “told” me) that Brad and I needed to make the decision to adopt…and that we needed to adopt a little girl from China. As hard as it was for me to hear Sharon sometimes (after all, she also had two biological children so how could she possibly understand the pain I was feeling), I really did listen to her. Other friends also encouraged us to adopt. After much consideration Brad and I eventually looked into adoption; although, we were both hesitant about adopting.

In the summer of 2004, I joined a national infertility group called RESOLVE. I learned of an adoption workshop in February, 2005 which was sponsored by this group. Thankfully, Brad and I attended this one day workshop. At this workshop, we went to a session on Chinese adoptions. The presenter for this session was a representative from Chinese Children Adoption International, CCAI. Her presentation was well organized. She, herself, had adopted from China and spoke positively of her experience. We also attended sessions on Russian adoptions and American adoptions, neither of which appealed to us for various reasons. Brad and I left the workshop leaning toward adopting from China. After weighing the pros and cons of all of our adoption options, we finally made the life altering decision to adopt from China and to use CCAI as our agency.

We sent in our application in March, 2005. The paper chase began in May, 2005. Our dossier was logged in at the China Center of Adoption affairs, CCAA, on September 12, 2005. Brad and I anticipated receiving a referral for an infant in the spring of 2006. Soon after our log-in date, the referrals started to slow down. The wait for our daughter became increasingly longer. Brad and I began to feel as if we were NEVER going to be parents. I needed to find others who were in our situation. I needed a support group for waiting parents.

I also started experiencing severe hip pain during this time. In the spring of 2006 (when Brad and I initially thought we would be getting our daughter from China), I had surgery for endometriosis in an attempt to alleviate the pain. During the surgery, my doctor discovered that my left ovary was engulfed by endometriosis. After the surgery, my doctor said that I had a chance of getting pregnant since he had cleared my left ovary of the endometriosis. He also said that research has shown that women who get pregnant after having surgery for endometriosis usually do so within six months post surgery. My response to him was that I didn’t have the surgery in an attempt to get pregnant. It was only to relieve my hip pain and that at least seven reproductive endocrinologists had said that conception with my own eggs would be a “miracle.” Well, the endometriosis wasn’t the cause of my hip pain (that’s another story in itself), but it was apparently the cause of my infertility. I got pregnant in October of 2006…exactly six months after my surgery!!!!!

I found out I was pregnant on November 2, 2006. At that time, Brad and I thought we might get our referral from China in December, 2006. As excited as we were about the pregnancy, we were equally excited about the adoption…but, my pregnancy was considered a high risk one because of my age and two large uterine fibroids. Brad and I didn’t know what to do. I was terrified of losing our biological baby through a miscarriage. I was also terrified of losing our Chinese baby by informing the folks at CCAI and CCAA about the pregnancy. Brad and I desperately wanted both children. We chose only to tell our family and close friends about the pregnancy until our adoption was completed. Brad and I never intended to be deceptive, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

On January 4, 2007, we got our referral from China. We were referred a 19 month old little girl named Fu Li Wan. We were expecting a baby, not a toddler. CCAI referred to this as a “mistake” and said we could wait until the next batch of referrals so we could get an infant. I didn’t have time to wait for the next batch of referrals. I had medical clearance from my obstetrician to travel to and return from China prior to my 28th week of pregnancy (of course, CCAI wasn’t aware of this since I still hadn’t told them I was pregnant). If we waited until the next batch of referrals, I couldn’t travel to China.

Brad and I read the developmental and medical history on Fu Li Wan. We sat in our living room trying to decide if we were mentally and physically prepared to have a newborn and a two year old. Brad and I had already prepared ourselves for adopting a baby. We knew there would be more significant bonding and attachment issues with an older child. Brad wanted to make the decision to accept or decline the referral solely on Fu Li Wan’s medical and developmental information. He didn’t want to be influenced by her picture. I refused to make the decision without seeing her face. I needed to see Fu Li Wan’s face. We eventually opened the email with her referral picture. There were two additional snapshots of her for a total of three photographs. Brad looked at me and with tears in his eyes said, “You know what we have to do.” Our decision was made. Brad and I immediately fell in love with Fu Li Wan. She was the most beautiful child we had ever seen. Fu Li Wan looked as healthy in the photographs as she read on paper. Our wait was over. This was our daughter and as we would soon learn, the most perfect child for us. The referral was never a “mistake.”

Brad, my mother, and I traveled to China at the end February. Our Fu Li Wan (Allison Marie) was placed in my arms on February 26, 2007. We arrived home in the United States on March 11, 2007 at which time Allison became a U.S. Citizen. Shannon Elizabeth, our other daughter, was born on July 2, 2007.

Brad and I have created a beautiful family. I’ve chosen not to share some of the struggles we’ve had with adopting an older child. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t tough at times. It was especially hard during the first month after Allison’s adoption and during the first couple of months after Shannon’s birth. Despite the challenges, Brad and I are incredibly happy and finally have what we’ve wanted for so long!!!! He and I feel a love toward our girls that we’ve never felt. It’s the most precious love imaginable.

During our journey to creating a family, my faith in God has been tested. I’m not one who has ever believed in fate. And, I’ve certainly never been able to accept that God has a plan and that I should surrender to this plan. Religion, for me, is very personal. I don’t share my feelings about God and religion too often; however, I do feel it is now necessary to say that I could be wrong about fate and God’s plan. I often hear people say that everything happens according to God’s timing. If that really is true, then I thank Him with all of my heart for His perfect timing. Without the fertility issues, the expanded delays in China, and my hip problems, Allison may have never been referred to us and Shannon may have never been born. These girls are true blessings and nothing less than miracles.

Pray for Ellie!!!

Read this blog and pray for Ellie!!!

PN2K7

One of my very first posts about a year ago was about Princess Night 2006. A couple weeks ago, we had Princess Night 2007.

Princess Night has very quickly become one of my favorite Young Life events of the year. (I mean, Mall Hunt will ALWAYS be my absolute favorite...but I do love PN.) For those who don't know, Princess Night...well, really Princess Night defies explanation. It involves crazy dresses (think Prom circa 1987), crazy make-up (think Tammy Faye, circa 1987), and 100 screaming high school girls all over southern Gwinnett County. This year, we met the girls at the movie theater and took them to the D-house at the church where we all got dressed in our smokin' hot dresses and did each other's make-up. From there, each team (broken up by school) set off on a digital camera scavenger hunt.

The first item on our list: a pic of our entire team in a bathtub...

Our team: Angela, Rachael (another leader), Me, Nicole

We took a picture of our team at the girls' school sign:

That involved climbing a small wooden fence, climbing a small wall and going through some bushes...oh, and abandoning Angela on the sign. :)

The list said we would get bonus points for a picture of members of our team in jail:

Technically, the camera was in a grocery cart and we were on the outside...but I love this picture. :)

The event officially ended with a Bad Dance-off back at the church at 11...but about 10 girls (students and leaders) spent the night at my house after. It was great...at about 3am a few of the girls decided they were hungry...so I took 3 of them to Waffle House. While we were there, we saw a guy get arrested for having a bag of cocaine in his car. All in all, by the time we got back and I got to sleep, it was about 530am...and some of the girls had to get up at 7 to get to church on time. Yeah...I was exhausted! I ended up calling in sick to work the next day so I could chill out and get some sleep.

I had such a great time with the girls, though! And the evening definetely went a long way toward building relationships with them. Rachael and I are going to start a Bible study with some of them after the first of the year...I can't wait!!!

On a completely unrelated note, my mom called me about 17 times yesterday...she had won a bid on ebay. It turns out, if you have a PayPal account in the US, you can't charge to it from another country so she needed me to go into her account and charge it. Turns out, it was my Christmas present.

I CAN'T WAIT for it to get here!!! :) I'm so into art and creating right now...I'm really excited about this opportunity to really expand one of my favorite methods of creating!!!

I feel accomplished...

I love, love, love to paint. Love it. I like most things crafty...but I really love to paint a room. And, while I have painted a grand total of one scenic oil paintings, my favorite is painting walls...like, in a room. I understand that this qualifies me as weird and, really, I'm ok with that. So, when my family left the country for a year and my mother not only gave me permission to paint various rooms in her house, but actually asked me to do it I was pretty excited. I know this doesn't thrill anybody else, but I'm going to share the before and afters anyway. :)

THE FAMILY ROOM:
Before:





After:


I don't know if you can really tell the color difference in those pics. The room was kind of an eggshell color, very plain...its now a soft green:


I'm almost done with the kitchen which was...well, once upon a time it was a soft yellow, but it had faded to look like the same cream as the old family room. Now it's a robust pumpkin/dark orange color...I love it!

Can the world handle 3 of me???

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 3 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

The whole story...

This, really, is more a story of how absolutely amazing and persistent God is than anything really having to do with Ellie. But I find it noteworthy to look at how many times the Lord has brought this family across my path.

So...

In 1998, right after I graduated from high school, we had a family reunion at Lancaster Bible College in Lancaster, PA, just as we had every year since 1980. Since my uncle was on staff at the school, we were able to stay in one of the dorms and use the kitchen and cafeteria. In the dorm we stayed in, in the bathroom, on the door of the stall was a poster asking people to pray for three families. They were three American missionary families living abroad and the husbands had been kidnapped. Although that really all I remember from the poster, for the next few years, even when I wasn't walking with the Lord, I would remember the poster and those families and ask the Lord to comfort them wherever they were at the time.

In January of 2002, I was away at Word of Life and we were participating in the annual Missions Conference. A lady named Nancy Mankins shared her story. In 1989 (I think) she, her husband Dave, and their two kids Sarah and Chad, went to Pucuro, Panama as New Tribes Missionaries. There village was just 7 miles (I think) from the border with the always volatile Columbia. In 1993, Columbian guerillas came into the village and kidnapped Dave along with two other American men who were in the village with New Tribes. That was January 31, 1993...Nancy never saw her husband again. In October of 2001 New Tribes finally received credible information/evidence that men had been killed in 1996. The men had been dead for five years before their families knew.

In April of 2002, Word of Life held a women's conference and Nancy again came to speak. This time she had copies of her brand new book. That weekend was my 22nd birthday...my first birthday without my grandmother and the one year anniversary of the last time I had talked with her. I was dealing with some pretty serious hurt. I figured Nancy would be a good person to talk to about healing after losing someone you love. She invited me to come up to her room after dinner that night. To this day, I don't know what happened. I went up, knocked on the door...knocked some more. She was there the whole night...but nobody answered when I knocked. So, I left a note for her at the front desk with the extension to my room if she happened to be staying through the next day. The next morning, I was feeling pretty antisocial so I went to the early service at church and skipped Sunday school so I could get back to my dorm early and have some alone time. And Nancy called!!! I would have missed her call if I'd gone to Sunday school (which was a WOL requirement for students). We talked for over an hour.

Over the next year or so, Nancy and I emailed often. She really discipled me through a lot of the hard, hurt stuff and I appreciated her so much! My roommate had bought her book and since I knew the lady, I figured I'd read it. At that time, New Tribes wouldn't let Nancy go back to the village, even to visit. By the end of the book, I knew I HAD to go to Pucuro. I had to. It was a passion...I had to go to Panama with New Tribes. That was the very beginning of my heart for South America. I can't tell the story of my journey to Ecuador without including Nancy. But, as things happen, we lost touch. I haven't talked to her in years.

About a year ago Judy, one of the ladies at work, began telling me about this missionary couple she knew. Their 8-year-old grand-daughter had been diagnosed with a particularly bad form of cancer and had, literally overnight, lost the vision in one eye because of a mass behind her eye. The girl's mom had started a blog. Every once in a while, Judy will pull up the blog and read me something about her, keep me updated on her progress. Last weekend, these friends of Judy's were in town and stayed at her house for a couple days. Their grand-daughter is doing particularly poorly now...she may not even live until Christmas.

A couple days after the people left Judy's house, I thought about Nancy and her book and that I should try and get a copy before it goes out of print...but I couldn't remember what it was callled. So, I went to the New Tribes website and searched under her name. I ran across the web page of another New Tribes missionary who was asking for prayer for her friend Nancy (Mankins) Hamm...Nancy's grand-daughter was diagnosed last year with cancer, she wasn't doing well, and that her mother had started a blog...I clicked the link to the blog and it was the one Judy had shown me so many times!!!

For just a moment I couldn't breathe. How ridiculous would it be if Judy knew Nancy??? She doesn't. She actually knows the other grandparents.

It amazes me all the ways the Lord has tied these people into my life!!!

Keep praying for Ellie!!!

Please pray for sweet Ellie and her family!

I don't really have time to tell the whole story of how the Lord keeps bringing this sweet girl and her family into my life...its amazing, really.

Her grandmother, in a way, discipled me when I was in college. It was her (Nancy's) story that the Lord first used to really turn my heart toward missions and South America. To this day, I would give anything to be a missionary in Panama, in the villages where Nancy and her husband served...but, that isn't what the Lord has for me.

Anyway, the short story is that Ellie was diagnosed with cancer the day before she turned 8...just over a year ago. Today, on her blog, her mother (Sarah, Nancy's daughter) asked those who have read and prayed for Ellie for so long to let her go. They know she is dying...it sounds like, maybe, a matter of days.

So, I ask you to pray for this family...Nancy, her husband Gary. Ellie. Ellie's parents, John and Sarah and Ellie's brother, Ethan who, I think, is only 5 years old.

I'll tell you more of the story later...

Oh...for Ellie's more complete story, read their blog: Ellie Skees

I'm in love

He is a beautiful, sweet boy...dark skin, black hair and light eyes. As I type he is turning exactly 24hours old.

And, I am claiming partial nephew rights and dibs on any non-family babysitting needs.

By the way, his name is Nathan Eapen Abraham and he tapped in at 9:52am, November 12, 2007...7lbs 13oz (smaller than they expected, I think) and 21 inches long.

Seven and half years ago, when I first moved to Georgia, Nathan's daddy, Prasad, had just moved here as well. (Side note: it's a little odd to refer to Prasad as a dad.) He and I and a few other folks became fast friends. He was like my brother. I remember thinking, years ago, about how hard it would be to watch him get married because nobody would ever be good enough for him. Ever. Nobody.

A few years ago...2004, I guess...I met Mary. She's pretty great. I don't really remember becoming friends with her or her family...just being friends. And, at one point, thinking how hard it would be to watch Mary fall in love and get married because nobody would ever be good enough for her. Ever.

And then I found out she and Prasad were dating.

Mary and Prasad set a high standard for how to do dating, engagement, wedding and marriage well. It has been and is such a blessing to watch them and know them and learn from them.

And, now they have a sweet boy!!!

P-fro and Mary D...I love you guys...I'm so proud of you and I can't wait to watch your little guy grow up!!!

(I'll post pictures later...I spent some time at the hospital yesterday, but nurses/people were in and out and then it was time for Nathan to eat so I really only took one picture. I'll get more. :))

Missionaries to Peru...

A good friend who is a student at UGA is writing a paper on the effectiveness of missionaries to Peru. She asked me the following questions, and what follows those is my response. (I am blocking out a couple of names of people that I specifically mentioned.)

-How do you feel about missionaries, and how do you think the presence of missionaries has affected the Peruvian culture and religion?
-Do you think missionaries are effective in their efforts in Peru?
-What do you think Peruvians think about missionaries?

I think missionaries of Jesus in Peru are desperately needed. The economy in Peru is in bad, bad shape. Four years ago, there was enough gold in the decorations of the main cathedral in Lima to pay thePeruano national debt four times over…but the overwhelmingly vast majority of the population live on so little income, Americans couldn’t comprehend. Four years ago, there were 300,000 kids a year on the streets in Lima alone…that doesn’t even count the country areas that even Peruanos consider poor. The hearts, consciences and memories of the Peruano people have yet to heal from the Shinning Path destruction of the 1980s and 90s. These people need to see the love of Jesus lived in front of them in ways we could never understand as we sit in our comfortable homes. But, I’m afraid that too often American missionaries go to Peru with American culture rather than Jesus. We think we need to fix their economy and their culture before they will listen to Jesus. The reality is that they need to see and experience the love of Jesus before they will take to heart our desire to help them with everything else.

I think, in a lot of ways, our American mentality gets in the way of our ability to effectively share what we have come to share, especially in the outer areas that are still very much Indian and tribal. We know what works in our communities and cultures at home and we try to manifest those same programs into ministry in Peru. They don’t work, missionaries get frustrated or lose support because of a lack of definitive change in the people and they leave which results in the communities and villages having a culture of religion that is an amalgam of things they have been taught over the years. In the polytheistic cultures of the Indian tribal villages, the God the missionaries brought becomes just another God in a list of deities the villagers must appease, rather than the villagers understanding that He is the one, true God who is the giver of all they have.

Are missionaries effective? I don’t know that my answer to this is suitable for a research paper. The Bible says that God’s Word never returns void, so if we are teaching God’s Word, yes we are effective because God will use it. Also, I have to say that I have seen so many times in my own life…in Peru and Ecuador and even here at home, that God works through us, uses us, in spite of ourselves. That is one of the great mysteries of God, that He desires to use us when it would be so much more profitable and easy to do it Himself. Are missionaries effective? Yes, but it is not the missionaries themselves, but the Holy Spirit using what the missionaries are doing and saying to convict and draw the nationals to Himself.

My experience in Peru is that the Peruanos think of American missionaries as rock stars sent from God above to impart great programs. And I think maybe they get as frustrated as we do when those programs don’t work. I don’t think I’ve spent enough time there (all at one time) to really know the answer to that. I know how excited they have been to see me as part of a missions team, but would we not do the same if a group ofPeruanos came to our small community to build us a new church building. (That is, of course, if we could put our arrogance aside long enough to think they might could help us.) But, I have seen how they look at *missionary #1* as though he was Gabriel himself sent with a message of the great spiritual prosperity to come if you simply became a brother or sister in Christ. I’ve also seen how *missionary #1* accepts and perpetuates such adoration from the nationals. (Sorry if that’s ugly, but that’s what I’ve seen of how he treats and talks about the nationals in *the city he works in*.) I’ve also watched how the nationals respond to *missionary #2* who, although not Peruano, is from a neighboring country (one Peru has sparred with in the past, but neighboring all the same). Granted, *missionary #2* is a different man altogether from *missionary #1*, but I think the evidence is clear. The New Tribes Missions philosophy of missions is genius. Take Jesus to the people. When they know Him, teach them to know Him more. Teach the nationals to be pastors and missionaries to their own people. And get the heck out of the way so God can work incredible things in the lives of the people. A national knows best how things work in their own country and community.

Do these people need missionaries? Yes. But, not forever-missionaries. They need missionaries who will teach the people to be missionaries themselves and take Jesus to their own people.

The Barren Woman...Really???

I feel like a lot has happened in the last couple of weeks that have caused me to think, "I should blog that..." but, of course, now that I sit here at the keyboard, I can remember very few of those things.

Let's start with, I broke up with Eric last week. And, I must question the validity of that statement...which leads to two questions:
1. Can one question the validity of one's own statement? And,
2. Do you really break up with someone who isn't your boyfriend?
Ok, three questions:
3. What is the correct terminology for when you tell someone you don't want to date them anymore? (I mean, I guess that is the correct terminology...I'd just like for it to be less wordy.)

Anyway, Eric and I are no longer dating.

I am so, so excited about where I am right now. A couple days after it all went down (really, telling the person who introduced us was way worse than actually doing the deed) a friend from church stopped in the store and here, pretty much, is the run-down of the conversation we had:
Lisa: I was reading Scripture yesterday and I read something that made me think of you.
Me: Really? [See, at this point, I was excited...I love when God does stuff like that.]
Lisa: Yeah...I can't remember the passage...but, you know...it was about the barren woman...
Me: Uhhh...thank you?

I mean, really...what do you say when someone tells you the barren woman reminds her of you??? Unless you actually are barren and need encouragement in that area, what is the appropriate response???

What she said after that, though, had me thinking for a couple of days. She said that even if I never marry and never have physical children, the Lord will give me spiritual children through discipleship and ministry and Ecuador and that there is blessing in being single at my age because I am so free to chase the Lord and to follow without having to consider anyone else. So, I thought about that for a couple of days. And, although the initial conversation was awkward, I am so grateful
for it. Here's where I am now:

I am so, so excited about being single right now. I am so, so excited about where my walk with the Lord is right now. This is the first time, ever, that I my walk isn't in crisis mode...that I don't feel like the tail end of a marathon, just trying to keep up the crowd. My walk right now is a casual stroll in the park...it's the casual get-to-know-each-other dating. I have time right now to do nothing other than get to know Jesus...I'm not pleading for rescue right now. And, I'm excited about being single because it affords me the time and opportunity to do just that...to chase Jesus to find Him, and know Him, and just chill with Jesus.

A couple months ago the thought crossed my mind and a feeling sort of settled that maybe the Lord really doesn't have someone for me. It just sort of settled...like, this is how its going to be. It didn't really upset me...no singleness related depression...just acceptance. Now, though, I'm very ok with that thought...maybe even excited. I don't know. If that's the case, I'm so excited about the time I'll have to
know Jesus better and love people more.

I wish I could remember the other things I was going to write about.

Hmmmm...

K-E-R-R-Y

Ok...Lisa tagged me, so here goes...

An adjective for each letter of my name...

K - Known. "O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar." I've always hated this game as an ice-breaker because the only "K" I could come up with was kind...but for some reason, this time I thought of this...I like it.

E - Encouraged. The Lord has put some really amazing people in my life for just this time to encourage me and love me...it's working! :)

R - Redeemed. 'Nuff said.

R - Redeemed. I figure that one is worth mentioning twice. If you find that lame (deep down, I do too), how about Real. It's an important word to me...being involved in Young Life teaches you to be real with kids and not hide the hard stuff.

Y - Yearning. For Ecuador, for Heaven, for the world the way the Lord wants it.

Now, four people...I think only four people read this and two of them have already been tagged so I'll go with Stephanie and Morgan...you're it! (Oh! Steph and Morgan, you're husbands can do it, too...that makes four!) :)

One down...51 more to go...

My family left a week ago today.

I miss them.

A lot.

My New Anthem

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rise
And hope takes flight
O my soul, o my soul

O my soul

Ever faithful, ever true
You are known
You never let go

You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh my soul, oh my soul

Oh my soul

Ever faithful, ever true
You are known
You never let go

You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

Oh my soul overflows
Oh what love
Oh what love

Oh my soul fills with hope
Perfect love that never lets go

You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

Oh what love
Oh what love
Oh what love

Oh what love
Oh what love
Oh what love

In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You're the same
Oh You never let go

In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You're the same
Oh You never let go

Never let go
You never let go

*****

This song is on David Crowder's newest CD ('Remedy', it came out on Tuesday) and I can't help but wonder if he wrote it during the time he came off the road after his pastor's tragic death. From my understanding, Crowder and his pastor were best buds and had started this church together before David Crowder was a name people recognized. Last spring, the pastor was struck by lightning and killed while baptising a member of the church. Crowder chose to postpone his next CD ('B Collision') and fall tour so that he could be home with his church family so that they could all heal together. To me, that makes the song even more poignant...it was written when he and his entire church family needed to know they were being held with both a tenderness and fierce passion they could never understand.

How good God is to never let go...when we are so quick to forsake His grasp.

My new vacation home

So, after much packing and moving of very, very heavy boxes, foot lockers and suitcases, my family left yesterday. I doubt anyone really cares about this, but I feel it humorous to note just how much stuff my mother took to St. Kitts with her. Let's see...there were the 18 boxes (seriously) of stuff picked up by the shipping company. They are being driving by truck to Miami where they will arrive in St. Kitts in about two weeks via ship. And then, there were four of them traveling and each could check two pieces of luggage. She took 5 of the big foot locker type trunks, each loaded, plus a large suitcase and two more boxes.

She emailed me yesterday and they did indeed arrive safely...no word on whether all the luggage arrived. I guess no news is good news. I'm sure she would have called if anything didn't make it. Anyway, their trip consisted three flights: Atlanta to Miami, Miami to Puerto Rico, and Puerto Rico to St. Kitts. (I am very entertained by the thought of my mother and her three children on a lay-over in Puerto Rico.)

The pilot on their flight from Atlanta to Miami was a friend of my mom's! For a few years in a row, my family stayed in the same house in Indian Rocks Beach, Florida when they were on vacation and became friends with the lady who owned the house next door...I don't think my family has been back there in 2 or 3 years, but that lady's husband was their pilot. He bumped them up to first class, gave my brothers a tour of the cockpit and let my bigger brother sit in the captains seat. Not a bad start to what could have been a very long journey.

Anyway, I did indeed find the pictures of their house down there, so here you go...


The view from their back porch.


The above referenced back porch.


The neighborhood pool...its one of those ones with a false side so when you look out it looks like you're in the Caribbean.

My family's humble abode...sort of...

I feel like I didn't post for a really long time because nothing was going on...and now I'm posting twice a day. Not sure what that's about.

So, I posted a couple days ago about the email I sent out asking for prayer for my family because they are moving abroad. (See: Pray for My Family) In said post, I mentioned that I would post pictures later.

Now, my mother has a cd *somewhere* with pictures of the island and the house and the view and all that...however, in the midst of packing and shipping and getting ready for the big move, nobody knows where it is. So, being the tech-savy little girl that I am (not) I googled St. Kitts and came up with these pics.

On a side note, I would like to invent a thing, a noun, that is so widely used and recognized that it becomes a verb...ie: Google.

Pack to the pics...



This is the view of the Marriott...its where my dad has stayed all the times he's gone down to prepare for the move. Actually, it's where he's been living since Labor Day. And, if the house isn't ready when my fam gets there next week, they will stay at the Marriott until the house is ready.



The coast of St. Kitts...and can I just say, Shut up! My family gets to live there!?! And, I have a free place to stay on that very island??? So, pretty much, while you guys are freezing in February and lamenting the fact that you live in Georgia where cold is pointless because it doesn't snow...I'll be on this very island. :)



According to Google Images, they play a lot of Cricket in St. Kitts, which I'm pretty excited about. I've always wanted to see a cricket match...even though I hear its pretty boring.



St. George's Anglican church...I can't wait to see and photograph the architecture.



People keep asking where St. Kitts is...now I know how to answer.

If I ever find the cd, I'll post pictures of the actual house...or, I'll just go there myself after the first of the year and take my own pictures.

Thoughts I've Been Thinking

I want to be a Lydia.

A woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira,
a seller of purple fabrics, a worshiper of God, was listening; and the Lord opened her heart to respond to the things spoken by Paul.
Acts 16:14

I hope that if people are talking about me 2,000 years from now, they will be able to say the same things of me that are said of Lydia...that I was a worshipper of God, that I listened and that I allowed the Lord to open my heart and respond to what I see around me.

Also what struck me about this verse is the sequence.
Lydia
1. Worshipped
2. Listened
3. Let the Lord move her heart
AND THEN
4. Responded.

How often do we--and by we, I mean, I--respond first and listen later? How
much less would we say the words "I'm sorry" if we listened before
responding? And, not only listen...but she worshipped. Her first action
was not about filling her own needs, but praising the God she knew to
be real even before she really knew who He was.

I want the patience of Lydia that took the time to worship, listen and let the
Lord move before I respond to the things in my life.

Also thinking about...

You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being
manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written
not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of
stone but on tablets of human hearts.
1 Corinthians 3:2-3

The more I think about this, the more it gets me.

Think about the last time you wrote a letter (ok, or a long email...even a blog)...to let someone know what you are doing, what is
going on in your mind, where you are. You wrote with a purpose.

Well, folks, the very same hand that hung the stars and penned the very Scriptures we treasure has written the story of your life and mine. That thought alone is mind-blowing.

Not only did He write it, He wrote it with a purpose, with a goal, with an end in mind. He wrote our lives as a letter. He wrote your story and mine to let others,
those in our lives, those who watch us live...to let them know what He is doing, what He thinks, where He is and, most importantly, how very much He loves them.

Think about the stories of the people who drew you to Jesus...their stories are a letter to you from the Creator of the universe so that you would know where to find Him.

I hope that we will all know where the Lord is...and will act in patience as we worship, listen and respond to the places and circumstances He opens our hearts to.

Not bad, not bad at all...

I found this on Lisa's blog...I wish it would tell which questions I got wrong.

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

Grammar Quiz

Ha ha ha...this is so me!!! :)

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Pray for my family!

I sent this email out today:

Hey, guys!

You were all so faithful to pray for my trip to Ecuador a few months back (has it really been that long already??) that I feel like I should ask you to pray for this too...

My family is moving. Actually, technically, my dad already has but the rest of the family (minus me) is heading out this weekend. They are going to be living in St. Kitts which is in the Caribbean, southwest of Puerto Rico, I think. They have a lease on a house for a year but they may end up staying longer if needed. My dad has been there since Labor Day and I'm not going so that means my mom has to get herself, the kids and a ridiculous amount of luggage from Atlanta to St. Kitts by herself...this involves layovers in both Miami and Puerto Rico. Pray for her!

Really, pray for the whole family...they are going to have a completely different way of life down there. Yeah, their house is on a mountain and looks over the Caribbean, but a lot of the things they are used to...most of the foods they normally eat are extremely expensive. Pray for their safety, and their adjustment. And, pray that this would be a good time for them as a family.

Pray for me, too...my family is leaving! They are going to be really far away. Phone calls can be difficult and I certainly won't be able to drop by if I just want a meal that doesn't involve the microwave. I love my brothers and sister and I'll be missing out on a year of their lives...especially my sister who is most definitely making the transition from preschooler to little girl. And, Daniel, my oldest brother, will be a teenager when they come home.

Thanks so much!

His,
Kerry

I'll post some pics of where they'll be living soon...my computer at work won't let me upload them. I think my mom has some pics of the actual house.

Thanks for praying!

Old Stuff

So, I have a gajillion (a "gajillion" being an approximation) boxes of stuff. When I moved out of my folks house, I did it in such a hurry that I just threw everything in boxes and put them in the shop at a friends house...that was two years ago. Now, I'm going through them and getting rid of stuff and repacking in a way that makes sense.

In the middle of it all, I found my journal from the year I was at Word of Life, which is the first 18 months or so after I lost my grandparents. Really, it makes me laugh...I wrote all through it about how much I was growing in the Lord and how much I was learning about Him. Now, I can look back and see that saying those things was really just saying the right words. I did learn a lot...but nothing compared to the last few years.

Anyway, in the middle of the school year, right before Christmas, I wrote a poem and put it in my journal. I am so not a poet...I used to try to be one, but I haven't written anything like this in years. I thought I'd share it...

I don't know where I'm going
I'm not sure where this path leads
Whatever is in my future
I lay at Jesus' feet
Tomorrow could be my last day
Or maybe a new start
Either way, I know You have a plan
For the purpose of my heart

So I will follow You
I will walk the path You choose
Through the darkest night
And the brightest light
I know You are the Way
And I will follow You

My life is but a vapor
I'm just a stranger in this land
But I know that You will guide me
By the grace of Your ever-loving hand
With all that I am
And all that I have
I will walk through this land
For the glory of You, Father

So I will follow You
I will walk the path You choose
Through the darkest night
And the brightest light
I know You are the Way
And I will follow You

Christy & Leese: All through the journal, too, are references to how grateful I was (and still am!) for your friendship and encouragment...your presence in my life made such a difference in the way I dealt with losing my grandparents...love you guys!

I am how old???

When I was eleven-ish, I started working in my church's nursery and got
super attached to his one little girl. She couldn't even walk yet. If I
walked into the nursery and didn't pick her up right away she would
have a fit. She and her brother (he's 18 months older) were the first
kids I ever baby-sat.

I'm not really sure how it worked out, but I found her on Facebook the other day. She is about to turn 17. 17! That's ridiculous! She's going to be a Senior! Her brother will be 19 in Jan.

Yikes...30 is rapidly approaching.

Sweet times...

Ok...I know this won't really make sense to anyone who reads it. Mostly, I know this because I don't understand it and I'm the one living through it. But, I'm going to say it anyway 'cause...well, 'cause its my blog and writing helps me process things. Anywho...

I'm homesick. And that doesn't make sense because I'm home...I'm here in Snellville at the church and among the friends and families that I dearly love; the people without whose influence, I would not be who I am. And, yet, I'm homesick. I'm homesick for a place in which I have never lived. In fact, it is a place I've only visited for a total of 12 days over two trips. You know that MercyMe song 'Homesick,' with the line: "If home is where my heart is, then I'm out of place"? (Click the link for full lyrics) Yeah...that's how I feel right now.

But! I do now finally have a cd with a bunch of pictures on it that I want to share with whoever may read this. I'm not in very many pictures from the trip, though, because I was separate from the team about half the time we were in Ambato and I only took about 4 pictures myself. But, ya'll don't wanna see me anyway. :)



If we talked at all after my trip to Ecuador last year, you doubtless heard about a pastor's wife I met named Jenni. This is she and I moments after we saw each other again this year. I treasure this woman...her friendship and encouragement. Lord willing, when I live in Ecuador I will work with her developing women's discipleship programs in her church...its one of the greatest desires of my heart! I have some really sweet stories of Jenni from this year's trip...not the least of which being when she sat with me, held my hand and brushed my hair when I was really sick!



Look at him, all GQ. :) That's Jonhattan, he's the pastor we work with in Ambato. One Grace missionary family has known him for probably 10 years, since he was in seminary in Texas...we've actually been working with him for 6 or 7, I think. His wife Yvonne and sister in law, Patty (Efraim's mom) are two of my better friends in Ambato. I can't wait to be able to sit under his teaching and be a part of his ministry on a more long-term basis!



Meet my shadow, Alison. :) I don't want this to sound prideful, but at the school in Ambato I was a rock star. Pretty much if I stepped onto the property I had kids all over me like this...but usually there were hordes of them. And this is the sweet girl that started it all. Really, if I was on the school grounds, she knew about it and she was as close to me as the school staff would let her be...it was a sixth sense or something...she could always find me. I'm pretty sure she was also the leader of the gang that tried to pull open the stall door one day when I was in the bathroom. She is such a sweet little girl! Always, always, always had hugs for whoever was willing to receieve them. Every night she sat through the small group discussion time holding my hand or laying her head on my shoulder. The last night, she clung to me like she is in this picture, but she was crying as we all sang 'Tu Eres Todo' to end the service and our time in Ambato.

Ok...so I have about a gazillion more pictures...I need to organize them and my stories better before I post more...but I will post more. Stay tuned. :)

Not Guilty Anymore

It doesn't matter what you've done;
It doesn't matter where you're coming from
Doesn't matter where you've been,
Hear me tell you I forgive

You're not guilty anymore
You're not filthy anymore,
I love you, mercy is yours
You're not broken anymore
You're not captive anymore
I love you, mercy is yours

Can you believe that this is true,
Grace abundant I am giving you
Cleansing deeper than you know,
All was paid for long ago

There is now therefore no condemnation
For those who are in Jesus

You're not guilty anymore
You're not filthy anymore,
I love you, mercy is yours
You're not broken anymore
You're not captive anymore
I love you, mercy is yours

You are spotless, you are holy
You are faultless, you are whole
You are righteous, you are blameless
You are pardoned, you are mine

~Aaron Keyes and Andy Lehman

ICRS

So, this week is the ICRS (the International Christian Retail Show) sponsored by CBA (the Christian Booksellers Association, or something like that) and because I am a book-buyer at the Christian book store where I work, I got to go to a bunch of stuff. (I'm a book-buyer, who knew???)

So, Sunday night was the first night and there was this "thing" sponsored by INO Records and Provident-Integrity Distribution (another record company) called "An Evening with MercyMe." And I got to go. I got to hang out with MercyMe and, maybe, 30 other people. Stinkin awesome.

I am totally one of those fans who has a story about a song (which is part of the reason I got to go). If you know me well at all, you know that from the day I was born until the day she died, my grandmother was my very best friend in the ENTIRE world. The day she died was the first time I heard 'I Can Only Imagine.' (Christy and Leese, if you read this, ya'll were there!) Six weeks later, I left for my year at the BI. I bought the MercyMe CD shortly after and there were days, literally, where I would leave campus and just drive around listening to that song 8 or 10 times in a row just to get through the day. So, to get to hang with the band and talk to Bart Millard...and hear them sing some of the stuff from their new album (All That is Within Me, due out November 20) was incredible.

The actual retail show started on Monday and I got to go down and do book-buyer type stuff. Actually, we had recently met with most of our publisher reps so we didn't order a whole lot of books and I'm not really sure why I was there...but I had a lot of fun! I got to meet a lot of people, too...Mandisa from American Idol, Karen Kingsbury, Monk and Neagle (they sang at my church a couple years ago so it was cool to see them again).

There was a seminar yesterday for a new service I'm in the process of signing the store up for so I got to go back. The seminar was LAME...mostly because it was a users meeting to discuss the service and since we don't have it yet, I really had no idea what they were talking about...I'm sure it was profitable for people who did know. I did get to meet more people, though...Randy Alcorn, Norm Geisler.

Last night Erwin McManus did an event where he spoke on the stuff from his latest book Soul Cravings. He was amazing...I'm excited about getting my hands on some of his podcasts and DVDs.

All in all...a fun week...but I'm exhausted!

Food...

Food...I love it!

I also find it interesting that the most adventurous thing I ate in Ecuador (this year--and I have to qualify it as this year...last year I ate guinea pig) was a pack of cookies purchased at a filling station on the side of the Pan-American Highway...but I've not quite been home two weeks and I had my first real experience with Sushi tonight. (Shout out to E-bags...thanks, friend.)

And I LOVED it.

I was born in a seaside town--a seafood town--lived for 5 years in another seafood town, lived on the coast of England (fish and chips, mate?) for two years and grew up in Florida and only just in the last year or so started eating cooked fish. But, I am willing to eat just about anything once (ie: guinea pig, although I've eaten that twice...in two different countries). I decided to give the octopus a shot (seriously) and don't particularly feel like I need to give it another one. It wasn't bad exactly, but a little tough...not so much pleasant to chew. The rest of the sushi, though, was amazing...even if the restaurant is a little sketch given its location...right next to the gas station. Hmmm...I ate raw fish in a restaurant attached to a gas station.

It seems I have an aversion to food from gas stations.

Furthermore, what does it say about my life that I just wrote an entire post about my dinner tonight.

Hmmm...I think its safe to say I totally need to get out more.

In other news, I miss my friends in Ecuador...no big surprise there. :) I think I miss them more today than usual because I know that a team from Marietta left today to spend a week in the same place, basically doing the same thing we did. They are with my friends. I did send a letter and some pictures down to Patty with them so hopefully I'll hear from soon.

Good night, all!

Mis Amigos en Ecuador

Ok...I've figured out this picture thing, so here you go...

I seriously, only took 4 pictures the entire time I was in Ecuador...not like me, I know, but the truth. So, I'll have to post pictures slowly as I get them from other people. For tonight, two pictures of two of my favorite people in the world!




This is my boy, Efraim. I spent a lot of time with him during that week. He is so sweet! We were buddies all week...he mostly made fun of me because I can't whistle and he can. The night we said goodbye to our friends in Ambato, he told his mom that he wants to marry me and that he didn't want me to leave him. Yeah, its a pretty fair accusation to say that he stole my heart!



My very special friend, Patty...and Efraim's mom. My Ecuador experience was a little different than most of the rest of the team...in the mornings, our team went to a new church property to paint while I stayed at the school and taught/hung out with the kids there. There were different ladies (from our team) with me each day, but I was the only one who stayed every day...and Patty was the translator that stayed at the school with us, so I spent a great deal of time with Patty. As much as I could, Patty and I would speak in Spanish which I think made her more comfortable. For whatever reason, the Lord saw fit for us to really hit it off. Patty and I had a lot of time to talk about our lives and families and I feel like if I had stayed longer we would have ended up being really good friends.

I miss these two so much! I would love to be able to pick up the phone and just call her to see how they're doing...but I can't!

I feel like I'm getting more settled back into my life now than I was when we first got back...and I'm ready to get back to my journal and finishing writing about the trip. Then I can go back through and write more specifics about the trip on here...and hopefully soon I'll have some more pictures to share!

Where does the time go???

Seriously??? I can't believe it has been a week since I was having a conversation with an Ecuadorian pastor's wife about whether or not I needed to go to the hospital (also Ecuadorian). And, I can't believe its been a week since I said goodbye to my sweet Effy.

Its been hard to get back into the swing of work. A week ago, I was translating life-changing Spanish...marriage changing Spanish...people's families will be different b/c of things I translated (not that my Spanish is that fabulous, but the information I was passing along was great). And now I'm here...in a cave where I have to keep the delivery door open to get enough light to read paperwork without getting a headache.

Five years from now the only person who will impacted by what I do at work is my boss. I love him and all, but I want to do and be more on this road to Ecuador.

Perhaps its time to move on and move forward. We'll see.

Pray for me!

Home again, home again...

Wow...I can't believe I'm home already. Eight days passed in a blur. I can say nothing less than that my eight days in Quito and Ambato this year amounted to the most amazing week of my life. I did things I wouldn't have done if our team had been comprised differently...and I made friends that I plan to have for the rest of my life. And I even learned some stuff about the Lord...and about my relationship with Him.

There are so, so many stories...and I will share them as they come to mind. I'm still working on my journal last week. It amazes me how quickly I forsook my journal when the opportunity for real, life-on-life ministry was before me.

And, if I ever figure out how to post pictures, I will post a picture of me and the little boy who stole my heart...my sweet Ephy! I miss him so much!

Thanks for praying...your prayers were felt from so far away. But keep praying that what happened in my heart this week continues to develop even now that we're home.

Seriously...tomorrow?

This is pretty much it...we leave for Ecuador first thing in the morning! :)

Thank you, again, for all of your support, encouragement and prayers as I've prepared for this trip...especially this week. This week has been incredibly difficult for me...two people I know passed away, my car broke down, got fixed and then broke down again (seriously), and I moved out of my first apartment. But, as a good friend at work reminded me, this is the same kind of week I had right before I left last year. Even in the middle of the battle this week, I knew that the Enemy only attacks what threatens him...and apparently God has some pretty huge plans for me in Ecuador 'cause I am posing quite a threat to the other team. :) Really, it has been your prayers and encouragement that has allowed me to get to this place without losing my mind. Physically, I'm ready...bags are packed and at the church ready to go on the bus, carry-on is ready to go...I even remembered to leave clothes out for myself to wear tomorrow. My brain, however, has no comprehension that in 24 hours I'll be with my friends in Ecuador...that's ridiculous! :) I predict a lot of tears when I step off the plane and see Dan and Jen...and then on Sunday: Jonhattan, Ivonne, Hernan and Jenni!

For as little as I grasp the fact that I am blessed to be called back to that place...I am so, so excited as well.

So, I guess, pray for us...a lot. :) I don't want to come in only 8 short days, but if I have to, I'm glad I get to share all of the amazing things the Lord has done while we're there with all of you. I'm a writer...I journal EVERYTHING and I love to take pictures...there is going to be so so much to tell you! I guess, I'll write again in 8 days!

A short life, well-lived

Its really weird when someone younger than you passes away. A few years ago (June 2003) I was an adult leader on a youth missions trip to Indiana...Matt Lewis was one of the high school guys. We called him Frodo...the LOTR movies were out and very popular then and he look just like, well, Frodo. Anyway, even then, when he was just a high schooler, Matt was an impressive guy. I couldn't tell you the last time I talked to him, or even if he would have any clue who I am...but I've seen him around, watched him, and been consistently impressed with the way he loved the Lord and other people. He went to UGA (he's 21 now) and lived just a few doors down from a good friend of mine, and his girlfriend was my friends roommate so I heard a lot about his life in Athens, too...and it was all consistent with the way he lived his life at church when he was home.

Last Friday night, Matt was in a skateboarding accident. I'm not really sure what happened other than that he fell on his back and hit his head on the concrete. He went into emergency brain surgery, twice and made it through the weekend with substantial swelling in his brain. Yesterday afternoon they tested his brain activity and found nothing. There was nothing the doctors could do so the family made the decision to remove the ventilator. Matt went to hang out with Jesus at about 7 last night. His family, girlfriend and friends are grieving...pray for them.

Well done, Matt...we're proud of you!

Car Update...

So, I got home from work (after bumming a ride) and the mechanic called. He couldn't find anything wrong with my car...it was fine and I could come get it whenever. So, I bummed another ride. They had left by the time I got there, but they had left the key in the car for me. So, I get in...my friend drives away and I start my car. And then it dies. And it won't start again. Grrr...there is definitely something wrong with it. I guess I'm waiting another day. They open at, like, 6am so I'll get up early and call and have them look at it again. I NEED MY CAR! Hopefully by after work tomorrow I might be able to get back on track with all the stuff I need to get done. Geez, I hope so.

Frustration Level: High

So, back to the part about the world conspiring against you thing...my
car broke down yesterday...again. I have approximately a gazillion
things to do between now and Saturday morning when we leave...all of
which are severely impeded without access to a car.

Am I a little frustrated? Yes.

I know God is sovereign and good so I'm going to do my best to be faithful and patient.

But really, why this week???

On the plus side, though, we leave for Ecuador in just a very few, short days!!! :)

God is in my luggage

Ok, so the truth is, before today, I didn't own any luggage...which is kinda' crazy since I go to South America every year. And, since we're leaving in less than a week, I decided I should probably get some...and I decided that, really, I should go ahead and purchase it instead of just relying on the kindness of others to lend it to me. Someone had told me to check out Ross b/c they always have stuff that's pretty decent and reasonably cheap. Keep in mind that I am a wuss/lazy, I will go ahead and admit that my main requirement for luggage was that it had wheels. So, I found this rolling duffel that was pretty good for $25, but I would have preferred one bigger. And then I found one bigger and a little nicer w/ a lifetime warranty, but it didn't have a price on it so I took it up to ask the nice lady. She had no idea and there wasn't even another piece of luggage by the same company in the store so, b/c they were busy, the manager told her just to find something similar and charge me that price. I had rolled over the smaller bag too, b/c I was expecting the big one to be too expensive...so the lady gave me the big bag for $25. When I got home and looked it up online, I couldn't find the exact bag, but the closest one (that was actually about 6inches smaller) is $40! So, I got, probably, a $50ish rolling duffel for $25.

And, I definitely just wrote an entire post about luggage. I really need something more interesting to talk about...

Less than a week...

Blah.

Ever feel like the ENTIRE world is conspiring against you?

Yeah, it's been one of those weeks.

I'm ready for Ecuador. Next weekend! :)

Why?

Why can I remember that when our 6th grade Language Arts class was assigned a project that involved making movie, one group did one entitled "Orkin Men at Work," that was about pest control guys.

Why can I remember that, but not what day the garbage man comes?

Kinda makes you wonder...

I know everything happens for a reason and whatever the circumstance, however seemingly coincidental, God has a specific, ordained purpose...I stinking can't wait to figure out the specific, ordained purpose for my experience today...

So, I was at work...in the front. (If you know anything about the way I am at work, you know that's rare...I stay in the back as much as possible 'cause I can get more work done that way). I made a comment to a co-worker about how I'll be out of the country for Father's Day. The lady my co-worker was waiting on asked where I am going...the conversation pretty much went as follows:

Me: I'll be in Ecuador.

Her: Oh, I have a friend who lives in Tampa who is going to Ecuador that weekend, too.

Me: That's funny...I grew up in Tampa.

Her: Well, if you run into a group from Tampa, her name is Lora Lamb...

Me: Oh my word! I went to high school with her!!!

Now, combine the fact that I graduated in a class of 14...and my high school is about eight hours away from here. I NEVER run into people I went to high school with...or even people who have ever heard of my high school. Anyway, Lora's dad was my assistant volleyball coach my Senior year and I played ball with her older sister Tara. So, this group that Lora is a part of is not only going to Ecuador the same time I am but they will be working at THE SAME CAMP where we'll be for a day or two! Unbelievable! The lady in the store called Lora to see if she remembered me and it turns out Lora has been sick and her doctors won't let her leave the country so she won't be there...but the rest of her group will be. She still lives in the same area, so I guess its possible that I may run into someone else I went to school with or something.

I don't know what the Lord has planned for why I ran into this lady and we figured it out...but since Lora isn't going to Ecuador but still has the time off, she may come up here for a visit. I'm not sure if I'll be back in the country by the time she's here but if I am, we're going to get together. :)

Counting down the days...and Ecuador is, indeed, just days away!!! :)

Eres Todo

Eres todo poderoso
Eres grande majestuoso
Eres fuerte
Invincible
Y no hay nadie como tu

One of my most favorite songs in the world...in Spanish or English. :) We had a preperatory meeting last night for our trip. It was kind of the first in the last push of regular meetings before we actually leave. Notice the countdown? Not long now! :)

I've been a little stressed this week about the trip...mostly because I feel like I have soooo much to do in very little time. But, after our meeting last night, I feel a lot better. The meeting didn't really help me get anything done...in fact it was yet another evening I wasn't at my old apartment packing boxes to move, or at my new house doing laundry. But, I can look around the circle of team members and so completely see God's hand in every aspect of the trip. And even though I panic every year at the two-weeks-before-we-leave point, I have no doubt that the Lord will accomplish everything that needs to happen between now and June 16.

I am also realizing how blessed I am to be a part of a church whose very heart is missions...and missions for the sake of being a part of what the Lord is doing and not just the adventure of a few days in another country. I'm ready a book right now called Serving With Eyes Wide Open. Its about how often Americans are convinced that our way is the only right way. (Don't get me wrong, I'm am very aware of how blessed I am to live here.) We have no concept of how vast the church is outside of our borders. We have a tendency to run into a church/ministry in another country and force our programs and mechanisms...without regard for the time and work the missionaries or national believers have put in. And, I am so grateful that so many of the "wrong" (for lack of a better word) motivations and movements of missions teams are so very far from my experiences with missiosn trips...and this is my fourth trip out of the country in, ummm, 3.5 years.

I can't for that trip when I don't have to come back! :)

20 Days...Yikes!

So, I sign in and look at the left side of my blog...Holy Cow...20 days!

Three weeks from now I'll be back in my very favorite place on the planet!!!

It makes me a little nervous because I feel like I'm very not ready...but I also know that even if I haven't packed a thing and only have one set of clothes for the whole eight days...I'll go anyway.

Counting down the days till I can hug some incredible women!!!

Long Time, No Post

I knew it had been awhile since I had last posted...and then I looked and its been four months...which really seems to not be a big deal since nobody has ever commented which means, probably, nobody ever reads this anyway. The real reason for my lack of post-age (btw...I firmly believe that one can add '-adge' to the end of any word and have a new word that is just as functional)...the real reason is two-fold: 1. my computer broke (still haven't had it fixed) 2. I could use the computer at work to post (as I am now) but, generally, by the end of the day, I'm ready to get out of dodge...and I surely won't get here early enough to do it before I clock in. :)

Anywho...

If I had been posting the last four months what you would have read about, mostly, would have been my upcoming trip to Ecuador. I am sooo excited! I've been counting down since Day 50-something. We leave three weeks from tomorrow! God has been incredibly good in my support raising...I'll tell more about that later...maybe tomorrow. For now...I leave you with the letter I sent out about my trip:

Hey, friends!

You don’t have to know me for very long to know that my heart is captivated by South America and sharing Jesus with people of the Spanish language. If you go to Grace, I’m sure you’ve heard Buddy say that what you think about when you’re not really thinking about anything is what you are most passionate about. For me, hands down, it’s South America and specifically Ecuador. And, I am so excited to share with you an opportunity that I have to return to Ecuador this summer. But first, I want to tell you a story about a little girl I met in Ecuador last year.

Last summer, Maria was nine years old, with a younger sister and brother. When Maria smiles, it consumes her entire face. She’s the kind of kid you know before you even know her name because joy and love radiate from her. Our team spent five mornings at her school participating in a kids club run by some people from a local church in Ambato. One morning, after the club, all of the other kids were playing soccer and other schoolyard games, but Maria was content to sit in my lap and just be loved on. Now, I speak Spanish, certainly enough to carry on a conversation with a nine-year-old, but the Spanish I learned in college is not exactly Jesus-Spanish, so I asked Maria if I could pray for her out loud in English because I didn’t know the words in Spanish. She said yes and I prayed for her—in a language she didn’t understand—that she would find Jesus and that He would become real to her. After I prayed for Maria, the Lord touched my mind and my tongue and I was able to share the gospel with her, in Spanish words that I hadn’t known earlier, even, that day. Afterwards, Maria told me that she understood and later she told a missionary that now Jesus lives in her heart.

People ask me sometimes why I love South America so much. Experiences like this one with Maria are a definite reason, but also I have to share the verse I am claiming for this trip:

Because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners.
Isaiah 61:1

I am so thankful that the Lord has called me so many times in the past, and once again now, to be a part of what He is doing in South America. And now I ask you to be a part of my next adventure in Ecuador.

Please, please be praying for our trip! With every trip, I learn a little bit more about the value of bathing such a journey in prayer…and there is so much to pray for! Pray for our safety and health as we travel. I always come back from South America sick and I am determined not to this year. (I feel like I say that in every letter…and I haven’t come back healthy yet!) Pray for the hearts that we will encounter while we are there. The dates for our trip are June 16-24. Pray that every person we meet that week will see Jesus in his or her encounters with us. We will spend the majority of our time in Ambato working on a building that was recently purchased to be used a church plant. We will be working alongside youth and adults as we paint and prepare the building. Pray for the finances of our trip. The cost for me to return to Ecuador this summer is $1550 and my goal is to have it all turned in by mid-May. Past experience has taught me that if it is the Lord’s will for me to go on a trip, He will provide every penny! Pray that those whom the Lord is calling to give will respond in obedience.

Please know that what I need and desire most is your prayer support. If you feel, though, that the Lord is leading you to participate financially in this ministry in Ecuador, make checks payable to Grace Fellowship Church and mail them to me at the address below.

I so greatly appreciate your willingness to be a part of this ministry through prayer, encouragement and financial support! Nothing makes me happier than being in South America and it encourages my heart to know that so many people at home are so supportive of the time I spend there. I need to thank you, belatedly, for all of the love, support and encouragement you have provided over the last few years as I have sought to find who I am and what the Lord would have for me. I am so blessed to have so many people who blur the line between friends and family! You are all such a blessing to my life! As much as I would love to go to Ecuador and not have to come home, I do look forward to returning and sharing with you all of the amazing things the Lord does while we’re there. He is such an awesome God!

Busy Times...

I haven't posted anything in a while...Christmas was a crazy busy season for me. I don't really think anyone reads this anyway. But, it's the internet, I can write whether people read or not. :)

So, Christmas came and went and work was insane...as is the nature of the retail business during December. We had a really good Christmas this year (as a business) and we stayed really consistently busy after Black Friday.

Went to Gatlinburg for Christmas, which was crazy since I drove up there on Christmas Eve and came back on Christmas Day. The drive back was awful. The weather was really bad and the fog was ridiculously thick coming through the Blue Ridge National Forest (or whatever its called). What had been a beautiful drive through the Blue Ridge Mountains on Sunday, was a potentially treacherous one on Monday. When I came out of the mountains in Cherokee, NC, I stopped at the first gas station and my debit card wouldn't work at the pump. Pretty much, my heart stopped. I knew there was money, but I didn't know how I was going to get home if I couldn't access the money to put gas in my car. Turns out, their at-the-pump debit machine was working...I just had to go in and pre-pay. No worries.

New Years was awesome...had a blast at the Bentley's. Four-square in the basement. Fireworks that almost blew off the dog's head. Guitar Hero 2. Great night...and day after.

This past weekend I was up at Windy Gap in North Carolina. Windy Gap is a YoungLife camp up there. This was the Leader's Weekend for the SC/GA region. (I'm a volunteer leader at South Gwinnett High School.) The weekend was so amazing. The speaker was awesome...he said things my heart had been preparing itself to hear, I think. The speaker, the seminars and just some conversations with people left me with a lot to think about.

So, here I sit, with a lot to ponder and a great deal to pray about. My mind has been running in a million directions since, like, Saturday. I'm not sure where to go or which thought pattern to follow, but God knows...and I'm trying to listen to Him. We'll see where He takes me. :)

Look up, guys!!!